I know I was a little terse with Kiara when we spoke. Even though I might have been lost without her strength, she is my sister after all and, well, sometimes I get snippy with her. Plus, I tend to get sarcastic and treat with complete insouciance any experience that unsettles me. I'll have to apologize when I see her.
Traffic was light on 290E, so I was making good time. I took advantage of the cool evening and drove with my windows down. In a few weeks, the Texas heat will kick in and only those who enjoy baking like Easter hams will drive with their windows down. As I drove, the setting sun colored the sky with brilliant pinks, oranges and reds. The clouds were outlined in purple and hinted at rain. I didn't remember hearing rain in the forecast, but again, Texas weather is unpredictable. Except during the summer when all the weatherman says is, "100 degrees today, 105 degrees tomorrow, 102 degrees the day after......"
I hit Austin within 45 minutes and called Kiara to let her know I'd be on her doorstep in about an hour. If I took the 130 tollway to Hutto and then turned onto 79, I'd miss all that traffic on I-35. I told her to have food and beer waiting. Preferably Corona in an icy cold mug and some fried chicken and okra, but anything would do. I'd left a Stouffer's lasagna, spaghetti and a meatloaf for my mom to feed to the kids. Dean won't eat the meatloaf, but I know my mother, and she will make him something "special". She spoils him and I am so thankful for that! I also left some cash so they could go to the local Mexican food restaurant.
Slowly, my thoughts began to turn back to the issue between Kiara and I. I felt that if I drove fast enough, I could leave the shadows and all they represent behind and when I landed at Kiara's, we could just laugh about what had occurred, get a little drunk and watch scary movies til morning. Unfortunately, I knew that wasn't going to happen.
We are going to have to think about our situation, consider the possibilities and maybe even consult someone. I don't know. I feel clueless. Too many ideas at once all jumbled together, helter skelter, refusing to land in any order I can recognize as a coherent thought. I suddenly got a headache.
"Please, God, help us through this. Holy spirit, ignite us from within and burn away all the darkness. Lead us down the path you want us to travel together and help us to make it there safely." I took a deep breathe and resigned myself that hard work, and possibly a fight, was ahead.
A verse from Hebrews came to me, "But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved." Kiara and I must persevere in our faith if we are to overcome this dark burden that has descended upon us.
As I drove up the flyover onto the tollway, I saw a falling star streak across the sky. I made a wish, turned up the radio and set my cruise to 85. I cruised along the tollway and made the turn onto Highway 79, left leg curled under my right as my right foot rested next to the pedals. I could feel the bass from my radio pounding through the side of my thigh touching the car door speaker. Something primal about the beat of the bass. I could feel it reverberate from the toes of my feet up through the pit of my stomach, finally coming to rest in my chest. Wildness, freedom from everyday constraints, lingered below the surface, teasing and enticing me to let go as the pounding beat thumped through my body. I could almost forget the worries leading me to my sister.