Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Dozing Out of Body

I had to suppress a giggle when Cleo slipped off the couch and landed on her side. You can always tell by the look on their faces that cats are humiliated when they fall because kitties always land on their feet and never slip by accident. In what seemed like a very human way of regaining her dignity, she quickly righted herself and trotted off into the kitchen to eat.

As I watched her, the giggle threatened to turn into hysterical laughter, so I took a deep breath, held it a moment, exhaled, then chugged my second beer. The rush came quickly and the hysterics subsided. I stood up, walked to the cooler and grabbed another beer. The lime was gone, so I grabbed one out of the fruit bowl Kiara keeps on the counter and sliced it into four pieces. As I was squeezing the lime through the mouth of the bottle, I paced behind the couch where Kiara sat flipping through channels.

By now, I had a pretty good buzz going. I wasn't thinking any important thoughts and the tension was beginning to subside, just a little. I sat down in the comfy pillow encased chair adjacent to the couch and closed my eyes. I felt safe for the moment so I allowed myself to drift off. I was so tired. I hadn't slept well in two days and the fatigue had finally caught up with me. It was a wonder I was thinking straight at all.

"An extension of our darker sides," is what I had said. What if? Everyone has a darker side to their personality. We are taught from childhood to suppress those darker less civilized urges and instead focus on goodness, kindness and love. Most of us learn early the difference between right and wrong. As Christians, we're taught Jesus is the way, the truth, the light.

Satan, though, is always prowling around the edge of our consciousness. And he's tricky. Constantly tempting. He knows how easily we can be lead away from the light. The question is, are Kiara and I being lead by the devil, or are we giving into our own subconscious urges to do something....bad?

I had become so relaxed. I felt like I was floating, no longer tethered to my body, free from any earthly restraints. How easy would it be to just let go? Leave my ordinary life behind and become someone new and different. I felt a tug. I resisted it, enjoying the sensation of weightlessness. I felt another tug, harder this time. I opened my eyes. I panicked.  I was looking down at myself lying supine in the comfy chair. My spirit was separated from my body.

Worse yet, a dark mass was hovering over my body, pulsating, like it was keeping time with my heart beat. I had to get back inside. I yelled for Kiara, but got no response. She couldn't hear me. As my panic grew, my heart beat faster. The mass, keeping time with my heartbeat, undulated and seemed to grow darker. I had to calm down. I glanced at Kiara. What would happen to her if I was unable to reconnect myself?

Suddenly, I looked up.

I had absorbed the darkness. As my spirit weakened, my mind reached out to me, looking at me through my hazel eyes that now gleamed mischievously. I smiled and saluted myself. As my spirit began to fade, I heard myself whisper, "Say hello to the new you, Rihanna."

Helplessly, I watched as my head turned away from me and looked at Kiara. Rihanna began to sing, "There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good she was very, very good, but when she was bad she was horrrriiiid."


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