Dozing Out of Body

I had to suppress a giggle when Cleo slipped off the couch and landed on her side. You can always tell by the look on their faces that cats are humiliated when they fall because kitties always land on their feet and never slip by accident. In what seemed like a very human way of regaining her dignity, she quickly righted herself and trotted off into the kitchen to eat.

As I watched her, the giggle threatened to turn into hysterical laughter, so I took a deep breath, held it a moment, exhaled, then chugged my second beer. The rush came quickly and the hysterics subsided. I stood up, walked to the cooler and grabbed another beer. The lime was gone, so I grabbed one out of the fruit bowl Kiara keeps on the counter and sliced it into four pieces. As I was squeezing the lime through the mouth of the bottle, I paced behind the couch where Kiara sat flipping through channels.

By now, I had a pretty good buzz going. I wasn't thinking any important thoughts and the tension was beginning to subside, just a little. I sat down in the comfy pillow encased chair adjacent to the couch and closed my eyes. I felt safe for the moment so I allowed myself to drift off. I was so tired. I hadn't slept well in two days and the fatigue had finally caught up with me. It was a wonder I was thinking straight at all.

"An extension of our darker sides," is what I had said. What if? Everyone has a darker side to their personality. We are taught from childhood to suppress those darker less civilized urges and instead focus on goodness, kindness and love. Most of us learn early the difference between right and wrong. As Christians, we're taught Jesus is the way, the truth, the light.

Satan, though, is always prowling around the edge of our consciousness. And he's tricky. Constantly tempting. He knows how easily we can be lead away from the light. The question is, are Kiara and I being lead by the devil, or are we giving into our own subconscious urges to do something....bad?

I had become so relaxed. I felt like I was floating, no longer tethered to my body, free from any earthly restraints. How easy would it be to just let go? Leave my ordinary life behind and become someone new and different. I felt a tug. I resisted it, enjoying the sensation of weightlessness. I felt another tug, harder this time. I opened my eyes. I panicked.  I was looking down at myself lying supine in the comfy chair. My spirit was separated from my body.

Worse yet, a dark mass was hovering over my body, pulsating, like it was keeping time with my heart beat. I had to get back inside. I yelled for Kiara, but got no response. She couldn't hear me. As my panic grew, my heart beat faster. The mass, keeping time with my heartbeat, undulated and seemed to grow darker. I had to calm down. I glanced at Kiara. What would happen to her if I was unable to reconnect myself?

Suddenly, I looked up.

I had absorbed the darkness. As my spirit weakened, my mind reached out to me, looking at me through my hazel eyes that now gleamed mischievously. I smiled and saluted myself. As my spirit began to fade, I heard myself whisper, "Say hello to the new you, Rihanna."

Helplessly, I watched as my head turned away from me and looked at Kiara. Rihanna began to sing, "There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good she was very, very good, but when she was bad she was horrrriiiid."

Kitties Don't Always Land on Their Feet

Sitting there on the couch next to Rihanna, I couldn't help but feel a little weirded out by the whole evening. Here I was calmly eating fried chicken strips when just ten minutes ago my sister and I had banished, I guess that would be the appropriate word, some dark spirit.

I assumed it was a spirit. I couldn't be sure. The "d" word kept popping into my brain, but I refused to utter "demon" aloud. To me, that was just asking for trouble.

My back ached, and I had a deep scratch on the inside of my right thigh where the barbed wire had torn into my skin. The hog chase alone was enough to give anyone the willies.

The guy from Ghost Hunters was yelling, daring the "evil ghost" to come out and slap him or something. It was just silly. I had the real thing hanging around my upstairs banister.

Rihanna drained the last of her beer. She let out a fat man-sized burp and looked at me. The shadows under her eyes were still worthy of an Oscar, but she had a gleam in her eye. I had seen that gleam before, and got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked. I reached over to get my beer and took a swig. The yeasty taste was delicious, and the bubbles made my eyes water.

"Something is stalking me at my house. It calls my name, and sometimes I see it out of the corner of my eye, or fleetingly in the mirror. It's dark and it seems mean. But," Rihanna looked away, staring at something I couldn't see, "it's exciting. I don't know how to describe it. A part of me is thrilled by the idea that something unknown, whether it be evil or not, is attempting contact. Sometimes I get so bored that any distraction would suffice. I know it's bad for me to think that, but I do."

She looked back at me, then stood up, taking her plate to the kitchen. I saw her glance up the stairs.

"How do you mean, excited?" I asked. "Excited as in, let's do that again, or excited, as in, I really need to do something about this before it gets me?"

Rihanna put her plate in the sink and rinsed it off. She wouldn't look at me.

"I don't know. When I'm at home by myself, I think I'm going nuts. Then, I come here, and we actually see something that seems like it wants to communicate and I think maybe we should try to talk to it."

She turned off the water, moving the handle around until the faucet stopped dripping. I'd been meaning to fix the leak for about a year, and just hadn't gotten around to it.

"Whatever this is, it wants me. And, dammit, sometimes I think it might be kind of fun to see just what would happen if I let it have me. The freedom of not caring or worrying about anything or anyone is enticing and that part of me that just wants to let go and do what's fun and possibly dangerous just for the excitement is growing....stronger" She did look frightened then. Maybe it was openly acknowledging her thoughts.

"I admit that all this seems like an adventure you read about in books, but at the same time, Rihanna, giving in to the darkness even a little is a slippery slope." That "d" word popped into my mind again, but I was still reluctant to speak it, as my voice would give it power.

"Have you thought that this might not be spirits, but something else?" I asked. At that moment Cleopatra jumped on the couch, brushing my arm with her soft fur. I jumped, not expecting that to happen. She walked along the top of the couch, past my face, tail high in the air. I pushed her tail out of my nose.

"You mean, could it be demons?" she said, "Yes, I have."

I felt kind of stupid, knowing I acted like a coward, waiting for my sister to say that word so I wouldn't have to.

"I think you might be right," I said, "But who would have summoned it? They can't just pop into this world whenever they want, can they? Or, what if we summoned it somehow?"

I wanted to look up the stairs, but I refused. I looked down at the cat, who had plumped down beside me. She had half-open eyes, claws moving in and out as she purred.

Rihanna sat down next to the cat, another beer in her hand. She absently petted Cleo between the ear. "Well, if we summoned it, I think we have some real soul-searching to do, no pun intended. If someone else summoned it, then we have a really big problem, but one that can be solved."

"The bigger issue for me; however, is if this is something we conjured ourselves. If its an extension of our darker sides. If that's the case, then how do we stop 'ourself'?"

Ghost Hunters was over, and I picked up the remote and started surfing channels. I wasn't sure either of us was going to sleep tonight.

Cleopatra stretched, enjoying the attention, and lost her balance, rolling off the couch. She hit the floor sideways, then quickly regained her composure.

It looked like the night wasn't going well for anyone.

First Night

I turned onto the county road that leads to Kiara's driveway as Lou Gramm's "Lost in the Shadows" ended. I noticed Kiara standing in the road with a man I didn't recognize. I pulled up, parked and stomped over to her and put my hands on my hips. "What in the hell are you doing running in the dark?" I asked with just enough vehemence to cause the man standing next to her to back up a step. He actually had the nerve to snicker. I ignored him.

Kiara contritely responded that it had not been the most brilliant idea to go for a run. She also informed me that she had just been chased by a big fat hog and asked me to take her to the house for a bath. I noticed a horrible smell drifting over from the woods and figured that the hog had been laid to rest, so to speak. As Kiara moved to the car, Hank ran up all wiggles, tails and tongue aching to be petted and reassured. She, of course, let the muddy dog into the back of my car. As I started the engine, I took one last look at the man who had stood with Kiara. He looked to be just over 6 feet tall and was wearing a dingy white cowboy hat and scrumptiously tight jeans. I asked her if that was Bubba White.

"Yes'" she said. I grinned and and was told that's all the response I'd get until she was in the house and cleaned up.

I drove the short distance to her house, parked and stepped out onto the caliche driveway. We crunched our way to the porch and took the two steps leading up to her front door. It was very quiet. The humidity weighed heavy on me and the breeze was a no show.

"Why are the frogs, crickets and cicadas not performing their nightly serenade?" I thought.  I remembered the other night when I felt silence surround me as I gazed at the sky, but at least the insects were making their usual noise. Tonight was different.

I noticed Kiara's hands were shaking as she opened the door and first let in Hank before we followed. She closed the door and gingerly walked to her room and shut that door too. Hank looked up at me and I patted him on the head. "Everything will be fine," I told him. Cleopatra, the old calico, rammed her head against my calf demanding to be noticed. "I guess you don't need to be told all will be fine. You know it, don't you?" She looked at me with her green eyes, her pupils partially dilated, and said nothing. Of course, she's a cat.

The smell from the kitchen let me know Kiara had baked chicken strips. They wouldn't be the same as a juicy chicken leg, but the mac and cheese and fried okra I saw laid out next to the baking sheet appeased my irritation and my stomach started to rumble. I grabbed a plate and loaded up with artery clogging deliciousness.

"Where's the beer!" I called.

"On ice in the blue cooler at your feet Miss Oblivious!" Kiara snapped back.

After her bath, I knew she'd feel better so I ignored the jibe. I grabbed a Corona, a slice of lime and a leopard print koozie to keep it nice and cold and sat on the couch to wait for her. I thought about the hog. She had told me that the hogs were breeding like nuts and overtaking the area. I supposed Bubba and his hunting party must have been out culling the herd when they came upon Kiara. Chased by a hog. If it would have got her down...I didn't even want to think that thought.

I turned on the television and began flipping through the channels. I didn't really want to watch anything, but neither did I want to be alone with my thoughts. I landed on "Ghost Hunters" and decided to watch. I thought it was ironic.

The air conditioner must have kicked on at just about that time. I felt a chill along the back of my neck and my hair blew softly against my face. Cleopatra had jumped up on the couch to join me. As I was stroking her under the chin, her neck stretched so I wouldn't miss any part of her head; I felt her rumbling purr cease.

I looked down at her and almost asked her what was up when she crouched and leapt to the back of the couch. Her tail was swishing slowly back and forth as she quietly growled, intently staring in the direction of the stairs to the second floor. My heart hammered against my chest. I did not want to look at the stairs. If I didn't see anything, then it really wouldn't exist. That theory worked for me as a child, I figured it might for me now as well.

Of course I knew better. I slowly turned to look and gasped at what I saw. A large amorphous shape floated inches above the stairs. Blackness and emptiness, that's what registered in my mind as I stared.

"What are you, who are you?" I whispered.

"What do you want!" I said louder.

"Kiara!" I yelled. The shape moved almost imperceptibly changing into the likeness of a human figure. Kiara ran out of her room, hair damp from the bath, but fully clothed and carrying her Bible with the gilded page edges.

Kiara intoned in an authoritative voice, "By the power God and in the name of Jesus Christ, I demand you leave this house immediately!" I stood and went to her to add my strength.

The shape flickered. Together, we spoke, "In the name of the Lord our God, we demand you LEAVE!" And it did. My mouth agape, I gazed at her and asked timidly, "How did you know to do that?"

"Faith, Rihanna." Then she calmly walked into the kitchen and grabbed herself a plate of chicken strips, mac & cheese and okra, reached into the cooler for a beer, walked over to the couch and sat down.

She patted the couch. "Come sit next to me. I've seen this episode of "Ghost Hunters" and its pretty good." I did as I was told.

.

Hog Bait

The oven beeped, and I pulled out the HEB fried chicken strips. I loved those things. They were relatively cheap, and actually pretty good. The mac and cheese and fried okra were keeping warm. Rihanna would be pulling up in a little less than an hour.

I looked out the window. Shade was creeping into the backyard, and I could hear the frogs starting their nightly calls. Hank stared at me through the window. He wanted to do something. I figured I might as well take him for a run before my sister got here. I needed to get outside for awhile, burn some of the dark thoughts from my brain.

I changed, got my headphones and cell and walked outside. The air smelled like rain. It was heavy, muggy. I could already feel myself starting to sweat. Hank ran up to me and licked my hand. He wagged his tail and trotted ahead, expecting me to follow.

The caliche driveway was dusty. Hank kicked up puffs of white powder with his back legs. I stretched a little as a I walked behind him, then put on my headphones and turned up the music. The first song was "Lonely Boy" by the Black Keys.

We turned onto the dirt road and I started to jog. The air was thick with heat and water. Pretty soon I was huffing and puffing. I'm not a great runner. I mostly jog, then walk, but I still enjoy getting out and feeling the air, when it was hot and when it was cold. It made me feel alive.

Hank had gone on ahead, as usual. I got into the rhythym and was soon daydreaming my way down the road. We turned at the highway, which was about a mile and a half from my drive. The sun was starting to fade, faster than normal because of the clouds.

Lady Gaga started singing "Bad Romance". I switched songs, preferring something more rock. Tom Petty came on with "Saving Grace".

The air had turned that bluish grey that happens as the sun hits the horizon. I could see Hank up ahead. He had stopped and seemed to be staring at something in front of him. He was hunched down in that predator pose - as if he was ready to pounce.

I slowed to a walk and turned off the music. I could just see a dark form in front of Hank. Then, I heard Hank growl. The form turned and looked at  him. I realized it was a hog. A big hog.

Hank started barking. I assumed that the hog would turn and run once the dog started to bark, and it saw me. Instead, it began coming towards us. I had stopped about twenty feet from Hank. A thrill of fear ran through me. I realized I was going to have to do something.

The hog let out a yowl. It was big and hairy. Light reflected off his eyes, making them appear red. Hank had sunk low to the ground, growling. Then, he charged the hog.

"Hank!" I yelled. The two hit. The hog got Hank right under the chin and flipped him. Hank landed with a thud and lay still. He couldn't be dead. Maybe just knocked out.

I realized there was now nothing between me and the hog. It looked at me, and I thought I heard it growl. I don't really know if hogs growl, but this one sure sounded like it did.

My mind went blank. I didn't know if I should stand still or run. However, when the hog made its move, I moved. I ran to the left, into the woods along my property fence. I clambered over the barbed wire in a panic, feeling it rip my shorts and poke into my skin.

It felt like the hog was just behind me. I screamed. My headphones caught on a tree limb and ripped off my head. I managed to keep the phone in my hand. I fell onto the ground, grazing my left hip against a rock. In the back of my head I kept telling myself to watch the poison ivy. Back in the world, I was scrambling up and running.

The hog crashed through the fence. I could smell him, rank and unwashed. I made it to a beat up old shed that had been on the property since before we bought it. I figured the rotted wood walls might not keep him out forever, but it sure could slow him down.

I tripped over the broken flooring and my foot sunk down into a hole. The thought of snakes freaked me out, and I screamed again. I sounded like a lunatic. I could hear the hog ripping through the shed. Then, I heard a gunshot. The hog squealed, then silence.

I heard someone running, footsteps crunching on dried leaves. Dogs barked.

"Kiara? Kiara, is that you in there?"

Relief flooded me. It was Bubba White.

"Bubba, it's me! I'm stuck!"

I could hear them coming up to the shed.

"Holy shit, look at the size of that thing!" I heard someone say.

"Git back, Buster!" Another said to a dog. They were whining and barking.

A light flickered in the darkness, and then Bubba White walked in. "What in the world are you doing out here?"

I felt stupid. "Well, I went for a run. I didn't even think about ya'll hog hunting, or hogs in general." I remembered Hank, "Did you see Hank? Is he ok?"

Bubba White looked back and spoke to one of the men. "Did ya'll see a dog out there? Where would he be, miss?" That to me.

"Out on the road." I said. I reached up and grabbed Bubba White's outstretched hand, gritting my teeth against the cuts, bruises, and other hurts. "That stupid hog was in the middle of the road! What was it doing in the middle of the road?"

I heard Bubba White take a breathe, then let it out. "I don't know, ma'am. You can't always tell what a hog is going to do."

"We found him!" I heard someone yell. "He's ok!"

I thanked God for small miracles.

"Can we take you back to your house?" Bubba White asked.

"That would be wonderful. Thank you." I said. I grabbed hold of Bubba White's hand and picked my way through the rotted flooring. I could smell the hog before I came up to it. I could see it's huge bulk laying on the ground. Light from someone's flashlight played across its thick, stiff hair.

I stepped well away from it, subconsciously thinking it might spring back to life.

I waved at the two men standing on the other side of the dead animal. They held the collars of their hog dogs, who were trying to get to the hog. I didn't know them.

"Ma'am." One of them said. The other nodded politely. I waved feebly at them, embarrassed.

Bubba White helped me through the fence and back onto the road. Hank was up and he met me, sniffing, licking, and wagging his tail in a fury.

I bent down and hugged him, enjoying the feel of his fur, even if it was full of sand. "He seems to be none the worse for wear," I said.

A car drove towards us and stopped. It was Rihanna. She parked and got out. "What happened here? And what in the hell are you doing running in the dark anyways?"

"I know! It was stupid," I said, "and to top it off, I got chased by a big, fat hog."

I limped over to the car. "Get me to the house so I can take a nice, hot bath, please."

I waved back at Bubba White. He stood there waiting for me to get into the car. Once I was in, I waved. He shook his head at me, turned, and headed back to the dead hog.

"Is that that Bubba White guy you told me about?"

"Yes." He just saved my life.

I let Hank into the backseat then climbed into the car. "I'll tell you about it back at the house."

Driving Towards....What?

I know I was a little terse with Kiara when we spoke. Even though I might have been lost without her strength, she is my sister after all and, well, sometimes I get snippy with her. Plus, I tend to get sarcastic and treat with complete insouciance any experience that unsettles me. I'll have to apologize when I see her.

Traffic was light on 290E, so I was making good time. I took advantage of the cool evening and drove with my windows down. In a few weeks, the Texas heat will kick in and only those who enjoy baking like Easter hams will drive with their windows down. As I drove, the setting sun colored the sky with brilliant pinks, oranges and reds. The clouds were outlined in purple and hinted at rain. I didn't  remember hearing rain in the forecast, but again, Texas weather is unpredictable. Except during the summer when all the weatherman says is, "100 degrees today, 105 degrees tomorrow, 102 degrees the day after......"

I hit Austin within 45 minutes and called Kiara to let her know I'd be on her doorstep in about an hour. If I took the 130 tollway to Hutto and then turned onto 79, I'd miss all that traffic on I-35. I told her to have food and beer waiting. Preferably Corona in an icy cold mug and some fried chicken and okra, but anything would do. I'd left a Stouffer's lasagna, spaghetti and a meatloaf for my mom to feed to the kids. Dean won't eat the meatloaf, but I know my mother, and she will make him something "special". She spoils him and I am so thankful for that! I also left some cash so they could go to the local Mexican food restaurant.

Slowly, my thoughts began to turn back to the issue between Kiara and I. I felt that if I drove fast enough, I could leave the shadows and all they represent behind and when I landed at Kiara's, we could just laugh about what had occurred, get a little drunk and watch scary movies til morning. Unfortunately, I knew that wasn't going to happen.

We are going to have to think about our situation, consider the possibilities and maybe even consult someone. I don't know. I feel clueless.  Too many ideas at once all jumbled together, helter skelter, refusing to land in any order I can recognize as a coherent thought. I suddenly got a headache.

"Please, God, help us through this. Holy spirit, ignite us from within and burn away all the darkness. Lead us down the path you want us to travel together and help us to make it there safely." I took a deep breathe and resigned myself that hard work, and possibly a fight, was ahead.

A verse from Hebrews came to me, "But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved." Kiara and I must persevere in our faith if we are to overcome this dark burden that has descended upon us.

As I drove up the flyover onto the tollway, I saw a falling star streak across the sky. I made a wish, turned up the radio and set my cruise to 85. I cruised along the tollway and made the turn onto Highway 79, left leg curled under my right as my right foot rested next to the pedals. I could feel the bass from my radio pounding through the side of my thigh touching the car door speaker. Something primal about the beat of the bass. I could feel it reverberate from the toes of my feet up through the pit of my stomach, finally coming to rest in my chest. Wildness, freedom from everyday constraints, lingered below the surface, teasing and enticing me to let go as the pounding beat thumped through my body. I could almost forget the worries leading me to my sister.

Coming Together

"Rihanna", the voice whispered. I froze. Really? Did I just hear my name called? I'm standing in the sunlight-in the middle of a warm and cheery kitchen. My mind must be playing tricks on me. "Crazy Train" started blaring from pocket; indicating that Kiara was finally calling back.

"Its about time you called back. I think I'm hallucinating now." I snipped at her. "Dark shadows attacked me and I think the wind just whispered my name!"

Kiara tersely replied, "I know! I got rid of them as fast as I could."

I guessed she figured that, as in the past, I couldn't take care of the big things by myself, so she had to come to the rescue.

"And I want you to come out to my place. You shouldn't be alone, I don't want to be alone and I want you to accompany me to Mrs. Ida's house tomorrow."

"What do you want me to do with the kids, boss?" I replied demurely.

"Leave them with mother. She can deal with three teens for a few days. Dean can drive and the girls can cook, so they won't be stranded and starving." Kiara said. I guess she had already put some thought into this.

"OK. I'll head out after they get home from school and I get them settled. I'll call mother and let her know I'm going to hang out with you for a few days."

After we hung up, I started reliving the events of the past few days. Seen in the light of day, I began to question whether or not the "shadows" were real.After the incident in the bedroom, I was so shaken that I would have believed the devil himself had set his minions on me. Now....I don't know. Are we overreacting? I find it difficult to believe anything supernatural could actually happen to me. That stuff is only for books and movies.

I called mother, told her I was going to Kiara's for a few days ans asked if she would stay with the kids.

"Mother, I want you to understand that it is very important you stay in my house with the kids over night. I don't want them to be alone. Rico is gone for two weeks and some weird shit has been happening." I stressed.

"Also, don't sleep in my room. Kick one of the girls or Dean out of their beds. After Kiara and I talk, I'll explain what's going on."

My mother, the ex-hippie chick who still dabbles in astrology coolly replied, "I know very well that something dark is following both of you. I've been keeping tabs on y'all." Sometimes she can be just a little creepy.

"Of course I will watch over the cherubs. They will be perfectly safe in my care. I'll be there by 5:00 this evening. " She hung up, sounding a little smug, but I was relieved that I didn't have to relate to her my crazy ideas at the moment. I felt if I voiced them aloud,  men in white coats would storm into my house, wrap me in a backwards tunic and cart me off to the loony bin.

I figured that I needed to pack a few things, but was leery about going into my room. I turned on all the lights, even though every window in the house was open and sunlight was streaming in, and slowly crept down the hall. I reached my room and flicked on the light. Nothing. No sensation of being watched. No lurking shadows.

I walked in, back straight and head up daring any itinerant shadow to come at me and began packing three days worth of clothing. I threw in a few extra pairs of panties just because you never know how many pairs you might need. I also packed my facial creams. Even though we may be beset by evil, or even worse, our own dwindling sanity, I still had to protect my face against wrinkles...time doesn't stop for spookiness.

4:00 pm came, the kids stomped in as only teens can do. Yelling, laughing and gossiping about the day. I told them I was visiting their Aunt Kiara for a few days and that NeeNee would be staying with them.

"Also," I said sternly, "keep the nightlights on at night and do not go into my bedroom for any reason. Do you understand?"

"No," Carmen said, "but whatever, mother."

I kissed them goodbye, told them NeeNee would be there by 5:00 and left. As I got into my car, I looked at the house and it seemed lighter. Maybe without me inside, the darkness would stay away. I jammed the key into the ignition, started the car and drove off toward who knew what?

"Please, God, help us to work this out," I prayed as I turned onto the highway and headed east toward Kiara.