The shadows seeped in from under the door; they dripped from the ceilings and they poured out from under my bed. They circled me. Over and over...never stopping, always whispering "Rihanna, we see you!"
I was going to lose my mind! I sat hunched on my feet, my arms protecting my head and recited the prayer louder and louder using the sheer volume of my voice to retain a hold on my sanity. I knew as long as I kept a grip on the tenuous connection between me and God, I'd be safe, but I felt my grasp slipping.
Then, the shadows dispersed quickly. Their hold on me shattered. They were just gone. Thank you, Jesus, for giving us a prayer we can remember when we're panicking! I kept my head down and covered with my arms for a moment longer. I felt drugged, like I'd taken one too many of my sedatives and couldn't shake off the lethargy. My eyes felt dry and scratchy. When I decided to look up, I gazed straight into the eyes of Kiara.
Then she was gone and I was alone in my bedroom. My creepy, dark never going to sleep in it again bedroom. How am I going to explain my fear to Rico? I have two weeks to ponder that discussion. I decided the best place to be was outside in the sunlight.
I groaned as I raised up. My legs and feet were cramped from squatting for so long. My throat hurt from screaming the prayer and my head pounded. I walked out of my room down the hallway using the walls to brace myself. I did not want to end up on the floor, prostrate, when the kids came home from school.
The glare from the sunlight forced my eyes shut when I stepped out onto the porch. The warmth from the sun, though, enveloped my body easing all my tension and aches. I slowly opened my eyes, stepped down the porch steps and onto the yard. Brilliant sunlight filtered through the oak trees' limbs. The wind blew a calming breeze across my arms blowing away any residual fear remaining in my mind and body. Thank you Lord!
I pulled my cell out of my pocket, and dialed Kiara. When she answered, she sounded harried and told me to get outside. Someone was at her door and she'd call me back. I told her I was already outside, then ended the call.
I sat down in the yard, careful of the stickers which grew not so much willy nilly in my yard, but for the sole purpose of getting stuck to shoes and clothing to be brought unknowingly into the house and deposited onto the carpet. You do not go barefoot in my house lest you end up picking stickers off the soles of your feet. I bowed my head and prayed, "Thank you Lord for delivering me from evil. Thank you for bringing my sister to me just as I was about to lose control. Without you, I'd slip away."
I stood and began walking around the yard. We had an acre covered in oaks and various other plantings that I had put in over the 11 years we'd been here. Scattered artfully around the plantings and trees were statues, knick knacks, broken pottery, bird baths and any other object I thought might add interest to our place. I liked the effect. I could walk down one side of the yard and see four painted mushrooms guarded by gnomes. On the other side owls and cherubs stood watch over our pool and backyard. Some people may think its a little too much (especially the colored lights I have wrapped around the back porch portico), but I like it.
As I strolled, I thought about the shadows and darkness and realized that Kiara and I may be dealing with something truly evil. I felt grateful for her strength. I have always had a tendency to give into temptation just for the fun of it or sometimes just to experience the risk. It thrilled me. Kiara kept me grounded. Without her, the voices just might convince me to let loose my control and join them.
I'm sure that's why God paired me with her. He knew I had a part of me that tended toward the mischievous. When we were teens, my "darker" side controlled me on the weekends leaving Kiara to look after me to make sure I got home safely, if she could find me at all.
Lately I have felt bored; ennui is settling in because I know the kids will be leaving for college soon and Rico is always gone on business. I need excitement-something different. Could I possibly be calling the darkness to me? Kiara is all alone, wondering what to do with herself. Could she be unknowingly calling for it as well?
The idea that we may be our own "dark strangers" is unsettling.
I walked back into my house deciding to throw open all the curtains and windows, including those in my bedroom, to disperse any remaining shadows. As I unlocked the latch on the kitchen window, I again heard my name whispered, "Rihanna."
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