Truly, I say, there are secrets in shadows

I floated above my doppelganger, hovering just a foot away from Ms. Ida. Being incorporeal, I would periodically wave as if blown by a breeze, much like a flag held high in a child's hand during a 4th of July parade. So when Ms. Ida looked my way, I was startled because it seemed like she could see me. She dipped her head, nodding slightly, and looked up with just her eyes. Her gaze pierced me like a pin would pierce a moth onto an insect display. The gaze was brief, I'm not sure if Kiara, who was studying Rihanna's reaction to Ms. Ida's handshake very closely, even noticed. The moment passed and we were ushered into the house.

The house was laid out as you'd expect. A welcoming entryway led to a cozy den and ended in a bright kitchen nestled into the back of the house. The far side of the kitchen was made up of  what could only be described as a wall of windows broken only by a door which led to the backyard. Ms. Ida offered chocolate chip cookies which Meanie Me exclaimed were her favorite. Chocolate chip! I'd take a snickerdoodle over chocolate chip any day.

The three sat at a large round table while I scanned the room, looking for any signs of drifting fog. The fog had thickened while we stood outside on the porch, growing dark and ominous. I could see it in the distance wrapped around the bottoms of the trees, worming its way through Ms. Ida's backyard, stopping a few feet away from the bushes protecting the house's backside. The kitchen seemed so bright and cheerful; however, that I couldn't fathom the fog daring to seep through any crack an old Victorian house might possess. I turned my attention back to the group at the table and quickly learned that Ms. Ida was the type of lady that gets straight to the point.

I had noticed that Meanie Me's mood had shifted with the fog, becoming, if possible, even more distant and cold. Her comments to Ms. Ida were snide and waspish and as she listened to Ms. Ida's advice, her expression clouded over.

Ms. Ida lectured her on secrets and shadows and the importance of faith, hope and love. She warned Rihanna that by trusting in the empty secrets of shadows, she could ultimately lose her soul.


"Push back the darkness, Rihanna," Ms. Ida exclaimed. "Allow the light of God's Glory to shine through and break the hold this shadow seems to have over you or you may well remain separated from the integral part of yourself that makes you a caring and compassionate human being."

"Caring and compassionate," snorted Rihanna. "You mean dull and boring. I do not look toward the shadows for fulfillment of any kind. I look to them for release. Release from the mundane. Release from responsibility. Release from the need of others who are constantly asking me to do something or to be someone they want me to be. The shadows offer me freedom from these things."

I rolled my eyes. Not only was Rihanna growing meaner, she was also a big whiner. I had, though, been thinking these very same thoughts over the last few weeks. I needed to get Meanie Me's attention fast. Instinctively, I knew that the longer we remained two separate parts, the harder it would be to put us back together. Ms. Ida's advice only seemed to make Rihanna less responsive to a reunion, so I had to act fast.

Also, as Rihanna's temper worsened, I noticed the fog bank grew. It had made its way across the yard and was now creeping through the bushes to reach the house. So, Rihanna and the fog were connected. I could only assume the shadow both Kiara and I had witnessed over the last two days was also connected to the fog. But how did Ms. Ida play into this and why was the fog around her house and not Kiara's?

Suddenly, Kiara grabbed Rihanna's hands. "Listen to me you twit! I love you, your kids love you, Rico loves you and The Mother loves you. Get over yourself. The only way to find fulfillment in this life is through trusting in God. You know that."

Kiara's grip appeared to shoot through Rihanna like a bolt of electricity. Rihanna's eyes bulged and she jumped, knees hitting the table with such force that the plate of cookies were knocked to the floor.

Rihanna panicked and screamed, "Let go of me!" I could hear the fear in her voice. Kiara kept her grip on Rihanna's hands, holding tight. Her eyes bored into Rihanna's.

"I will not let go, ever. This dark side of you is weak. It cannot bear the pressure of life because it is basically already soulless. This freedom you seek through the shadow is only fleeting. At some point, you will have to pay a price. Again, listen to me! Put yourself back together before it is too late. You're not humpty dumpty, I know you can do it!"

My thoughts started to spin and I felt a pull, like a vacuum. Rihanna was now in full panic mode struggling with Kiara to release her hands. The pull grew and my world began to whirl downward. Wall, window, cabinet...wall, window, cabinet....round and round I went. Rihanna screamed louder, pleading with Kiara to let go of her hands. From somewhere a mumbling sound broke through the racket, but I couldn't pinpoint the source. I was very dizzy; the twisting downward plunge reeking havoc on my senses.

Kiara entreating, Rihanna screaming and the mumbling noise twirled around with the wall, windows, cabinet until...silence.

I opened my eyes and looked straight up into Ms. Ida's steely gaze. Where once I saw kindness, now I saw only malice.

There Are Secrets in the Fog

I couldn't help but smile at Ms. Ida. Straight to the point, no chit chat. I liked that about her. I wasn't one for much chit chat either.

I gave Rihanna a quelling look and stepped out of the truck. Rihanna smiled sweetly back at me and slammed the door as she got out.

"Good morning, Ms. Ida. I hope you don't mind, but I brought my sister along with me." I waved in Rihanna's general direction as we both made our way to the front porch.

Ms. Ida met us at the bottom of the stairs. She gazed up at Rihanna, a slight frown on her face. Then, she looked at me.

"Twins, I see. Identical." She stuck her hand out towards Rihanna, "I'm Ida Pendleton. You can call me Ms. Ida."

Rihanna hesitated for a split second, then took Ms. Ida's hand. "Nice to meet you. My name is Rihanna."
They stared at each other for what felt like an hour, but was probably only a few seconds. They held hands for a wee bit longer. When they finally let go of each other, Rihanna seemed nervous.

Ms. Ida looked back at me. She had a thoughtful expression on her face. "Kiara, I'm sure you have a wonderful plan to get my yard back into shape, just let me know when you want to start, and how many strange men I should be expecting to invade my yard."

She dipped her head quickly, as if agreeing to something. "Well, with that business out of the way, why don't the two of you come inside. It seems we may have a few other things to talk about."

Ms. Ida looked at Rihanna. Her thin lips were pressed into a smile, which gave her the air of a nun in charge of a school for recalcitrant girls.

She turned and walked back up the steps and into the house. The screen door banged behind her. I looked over at Rihanna, who seemed rooted to the step. "Well," I said, "let's get on in there. You should be just bursting at the seems with curiosity about what she has to say."

Rihanna didn't look at me, but continued to stare at the screen door. "Curiosity is not the adjective I would have picked to tell how I feel at this very moment, sissy."

Rihanna smiled then, and turned to me. She had what could only be described as a devilish grin on her face. It made my skin crawl.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see wisps of black smoke beginning to crowd around the front porch. Rihanna saw it too. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "Ah, sissy, doesn't the air smell wonderful!"

"Not really," I said. I walked up the stairs and opened the screen door, motioning for Rihanna to enter before me. It gave me time to look around the porch. The black fog seemed to be growing darker and more dense.

As if in reaction to it, Rihanna seemed as if she was getting colder and more calculating.

The inside of Ms. Ida's house was tastefully furnished and could have been taken directly out of the pages of Southern Home and Garden Magazine. It was bright, and airy, and cheerful.

I led Rihanna through the den to the back of the house to the kitchen, where I knew Ms. Ida would be waiting. She did all her entertaining in the kitchen. Secretly, I rubbed my hands together, wondering what kind of treats she would have for us.

"Chocolate chip cookies!" Rihanna said, "those have always been my favorite!" Rihanna clapped her hands like an excited little girl. I tried to keep my expression neutral. Chocolate chip had never been Rihanna's favorite.

"Thank you, Ms. Ida." I said as I took a couple of cookies and sat down at her big, thick-wooded table.

The table was a family heirloom, having been passed down multiple generations. It was round, and I could just imagine King Arthur talking to his knights around a table like that on some cold, gray wintry day.

"Please, sit down Rihanna." Ms. Ida said. As Rihanna took a seat, Ms. Ida brought over iced tea in beautiful cut crystal glasses. It looked delicious in those glasses.

"Got these as a wedding present." Ms. Ida said as she took a chair for herself. "I have used them rarely, so I thought it would be fun to use them today."

"Ms. Ida, you have a wonderful home." Rihanna said, "It's so big. I bet it gets lonely here at night."

"Rihanna!" I said.

Ms. Ida looked at me with a patient smile. "It's OK, Kiara. Your sister is entitled to her opinion."

Ms. Ida turned to face Rihanna, "Young lady, I am going to give you a piece of advice. You can take it or leave it."

Rihanna smiled and straightened up at the table. She was all eyes for Ms. Ida. "Yes, ma'am, I'm listening."

"Shadows offer nothing but empty secrets. There is no excitement, and there is no love."

Rihanna's eyes hardened, "I'm not looking for love, Ms. Ida."

Ms. Ida ignored the comment, and continued, "So these three things continue forever: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love."

I could see gray storm clouds brewing over Rihanna's head. Ms. Ida seemed unaware of the coming thunderstorm.

"Look to these three things for fulfillment, and not at the darkness. Because, if you continue to allow yourself to be fulfilled by darkness, you will not only lose your mortal life, but quite possibly your soul."

Bumpy Ride

The old pick up trundled, rattled and bucked down the pitted country road. With each pothole, each jarring dip, her anxiety mounted.  She had been feeling incomplete since she awoke this morning; the reason why, she didn't want to consider at the moment. Plus, something about this trip to Ms. Ida's house had her on edge. The exhilaration from the actual separation from the part of her- the responsible, boring, predictable and weak part-began fading early in the morning. By the time she climbed into to truck next to Kiara, the feeling of being incomplete began worming its way under her skin, putting her on edge.

Whack! Her head hit the roof of the truck as Kiara drove into a deep pothole.

"Damn it! Kiara. Watch the potholes! My head hurts."

"Awwww, I'm so sorry, Sissy!" Kiara spat.

Rihanna rubbed her head and looked out the windshield. The truck was chugging its way up a small incline. As it neared the top, Rihanna got her first glimpse of the  house. As described by Kiara's, Ms. Ida's house was an old, giant, Victorian, ginger-bready type home in dire need of a paint job. The oak trees towered above the house, keeping it shaded pretty much all day and the bushes surrounding the house were huge, as if they were attempting to completely overtake the home. It all seemed very ordinary for an old house lived in by an old lady, except for a trace of black fog drifting low on the weed strewn grass of the lawn.

Rihanna shivered. For a brief moment, her anxiety level dropped and she felt euphoric. She wanted to leap out of the truck, plop down into the fog and roll around and around and around. But just as suddenly, the anxiety returned and she felt a little out of whack, like something wasn't right.

"Maybe Meanie Me is starting to realize that she can't thrive without all her parts." I thought. As I watched myself throughout the truck ride, I couldn't help but think about the welfare of my family should this Rihanna return home, or if she would even consider returning home. I could not fathom even Meanie Me purposefully hurting the children. More likely, she would disappear, abandoning the kids and Rico. I couldn't allow that to happen.

I wondered about her strange reaction when she noticed the fog. She had been radiating tension since we left Kiara's place, but once she caught sight of the fog, she seemed more relaxed. Kiara, though, who had been quiet during the trip, concentrating on hitting every pothole on the road, clenched the steering wheel and began to breathe deeply as if to keep herself under control. Two opposite reactions. 


The fog drifted across the yard, but stopped short of the porch steps. I noticed that as we made our way up the driveway the fog would roll and pitch its way toward the porch, but would then flip backward as if repelled by some force. A black, slow moving wave that never ceased in its effort conquer the porch steps and ultimately, I thought, Ms. Ida's house.


 The ebb and flow of the fog lulled me into a state of relaxation. Or at least that's how I felt, relaxed. I wasn't sure if a disembodied spirit could actually be relaxed. I started to think about my reaction to this whole episode. I didn't panic when the split first occurred. Neither did I feel defeated. I knew myself well enough to know that I had a "dark" side, but I knew on an instinctual level that my darker side was not evil. So what caused me to split into two separate parts?


I had been wallowing in a semi state of self pity for the last few months. The kids were older and didn't need me like they used too and Rico and I had adopted our roles as parents, forgetting that we used to revel in each other's touches. I felt sad, lonely and useless. I had become distracted by selfishness. Instead of delighting in the accomplishments of my children or the small things Rico would do for me, like bring me coffee in bed each morning, I focused on the realization that I was growing old and my way of life was going to change in a few short years.

I had let the devil into my thoughts and couldn't muster the strength to kick him out. Maybe that was the opening he needed to to lure my darker, supposedly more fun side, out. I had lost sight of God and forgotten my favorite verse, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

I felt I was onto something, even though I still wasn't sure how the dark visitor fit into the whole scheme. At that moment, I was jerked out of my reverie when Rihanna gasped. Ms. Ida had just walked out onto her porch. She was a small, thin woman. She seemed very prim the way she stood, back straight, and hands clasped in front of her, hair pulled into a tight neat bun. Her eyes were vibrant, as green as you might imagine a field in Ireland might be after a spring rain. Her expression, though, could quell Ironman, Superman, Batman or any other man who might think to cross her wishes.

"Kiara!' she yelled. "My yard looks like hell and I want to know what you are going to do about it!"

Accentuate the Positive

It was Rihanna that had ruffled my hair. I felt it. The energy was familiar, safe. And I knew it was her. Rihanna was up there somewhere...floating around.

Cleo was self-involved with her fur, and Hank whined a couple more times, wagging his tail.

He was looking up in the far right corner of the room, and I assumed Rihanna was maybe there, peering down at me. A little weird, but OK.

Hank whoofed softly, took a deep breath, blew it out, circled around in the same spot three times, then threw himself on the floor and closed his eyes.

The thunder and lightening had moved on, leaving behind a steady pounding of rain. It was peaceful, with the noise of the rain hitting the back porch, and the dog and cat sleeping comfortably.

I didn't know what to think about Rihanna. In some way, it was as if she had an out-of-body experience, but her whole self had not left her body. And, what about the black, smoky spector at the top of the stairs. Was it all related?

The Rihanna that was physically present in her body was still Rihanna, but darker. She was being attacked by something, I had seen it myself in my own out-of-body experiences. I thought about the past few days, then back a few months.

For awhile, Rihanna had been depressed, bored, and just not very happy. She had talked some about needing excitement, and something new. Was it this negativity manifesting itself?

The Bible says that what you think becomes your reality. You are what you think, basically. And letting those thoughts become spoken words adds to their power, therefore bringing them to fruition. 

The positive to this is that if you think, and then speak, good things, then you will be blessed. The flipside to that is the negative - from tiny, supposedly inconsequential thoughts to those large, "I can't do anything" thoughts - that, once spoken, can bring a life of misery and failure.

It was Satan, wheedling his way into your brain, slowly poisoning your thoughts until you lose hope.

This had been the path Rihanna had been following for months, and I just hadn't seen it, or maybe acknowledged it for what it was. And now, the poisonous thoughts were manifesting and morphing her into something different, and not so nice.

And why was I so certain that Ms. Ida held answers? Shadows surrounded her house. It seemed to me that she was also under a concentrated spiritual attack. How would that help our situation?

Too much to digest right now. My body ached from my hog adventure, and my mind felt drained and muddied from dealing with the realities of spiritual warfare.

I suddenly felt a little better having acknowledged the fact this was warfare. It was in my best interest, and Rihanna's, to watch what I thought and spoke.

I laid back down. The bed jiggled as Hank jumped up. He settled himself next to me. I closed my eyes, and said another good night prayer, and pointedly turned off the light.



Hissing and commotion on the bed woke me up, and I nearly fell onto the floor. The animals had managed to move me completely to the edge of the mattress.

Early morning light peeked through the slats in the shades. The sun had not yet cleared the trees, but light had already given my bedroom a pale, light-blue glow.

I had a horrible headache, and my mouth was dry. It felt like a girls night out hangover, excluding the fun. I rolled off the bed, and went to the door.

"Come on, guys, time to go outside." Hank jumped off the bed and trotted outside. I had to crawl under the bed and grab Cleo, who had quickly hidden herself.

"You too, fat cat." I said, as I grabbed her and pulled her out. Cleo meowed and gave me a warning hiss, but it was all an act. We danced this routine almost every morning.

"Oh, sissy!" Rihanna sang at my door.

Ugh. I rolled my eyes. Really?

She knocked loudly, "Sissy, it's time to get up. The birds are chirping, and I am restless!"

I rolled off the bed and walked to the door. Hand on door knob, I took a deep breath and pulled the door open.

Rihanna took a step back, a look of fake shock on her face, "Sissy, you look terrible. Did you get any sleep last night?" She smiled sweetly and flitted towards the kitchen.

"Ick," I said, slamming my door closed. I looked over in the corner where Hank stared the night before. "I hope you are still around, Rihanna, because that witch out there is highly irritating."

I went to take a shower.

The smell of fresh coffee greeted me as I left my room. I didn't see Rihanna, so assumed she was either in her room or on the front porch.

I made myself a cup, and blinked in surprise at the taste. It was really good. Rihanna usually made weak coffee, and drank it black. This coffee tasted like the perfect balance between water and coffee grounds. It was smooth, without a bitter aftertaste.

A smiled. I had found an upside to the dark Rihanna. She could make a kick-ass cup of coffee.

I found her on the front porch. Her eyes flicked towards me as I approached, and she smiled a close-lipped, secretive smile. My personal joke about her coffee-making abilities vanished.

"Sleep well last night, Sissy?"

I pulled out a chair from under the table. It's metal feet scraped across the concrete. I winced out of habit. Steve used to berate me for scraping the concrete. After all, who would want to see scratch marks all over the porch? The thought made my heart hurt.

I sighed as I sat down, "I slept OK. How about you? I'm surprised your "new self" didn't turn to ashes when the sun hit you this morning."

Rihanna chuckled, "I was careful not to stay in it too long."

"We need to be at Ida's by at 10:00 this morning." I said.

Rihanna perked up, "Good. I can't wait." Her eyes glittered. For a split second I was reminded of a lizard, or a snake. The hair on my neck stood up.

"I don't like what you have become, Rihanna. This "new you"," I waved my hand in her direction, "is not appealing. You are not whole anymore, and I'm afraid the longer this lasts, the harder it will be to put you back together."

She leaned back in her chair, and took a sip of coffee. "Well, Kiara, maybe I don't want to be whole. That part of me that you like was weak and scared. I am so much better now."

"We'll see about that." I said. We finished our coffee in silence.

Restless

She sat in the room, lights off and listened to the sounds outside. She could hear them; snuffling, rutting, squealing. The hogs. Wild creatures taking over Kiara's property and the surrounding countryside. Free from the constraints of morality, responsibility and personal relationships. How she longed for that freedom. To do as she pleased and when she wanted. She felt electrified. The touch of cloth, wood, mattress, each sparking a jolt of energy that coursed from her nerves, through her body and ultimately to her brain. Barely contained energy she wanted to release, like the lightening that just cracked through the night, but was fighting to control. Not yet, she felt. Not yet. She has to see that woman. Ms. Ida. Something about that name pushed at the edge of memory. As she lay back on the bed and closed her eyes, she smiled and thought, "At least I don't have to watch her flitting around my head." Her weakness had gone to attempt contact with Kiara. Rihanna smiled. "Good luck!"

I cruised back and forth over Kiara's head. "Kiara! Kiara! KIARA!" I yelled louder each time I said her name but she couldn't hear me, only a "buzzing noise." Sissy, why does she, I , me...whatever, keep calling Kiara sissy? Most likely to sound tough and confident, if I know myself, which at this point I wasn't too sure if I did.

I believe the Meanie Me (thanks Austin Powers) hit the nail on the head with the Star Wars reference. This situation was far more Dark Side then possession. I know Kiara knew I was present. I floated after her as she stomped to her room, cat and dog in tow. Cat! That's it. I'll get Kiara's attention through the cat. If I know my pop culture, some people believe that cats can see human auras and the psychic energy that surrounds them. Maybe Cleo would "see" me and alert Kiara with a hiss or meow.

I buzzed Cleo's head. Nothing. I buzzed her again and she just turned her head and ignored me. Typical. The third time, I screamed as I buzzed her, causing the cat to leap in the air, subsequently landing on the bed and yowling up at me. Kiara spun around and yelled, "What the freaking hell!"

Eureka! In response, I reached out and grazed her hair with the tips of my fingers. Her hair fluttered slightly. She smoothed her hair back down and looked in the air around her.

Hank was whining, but Cleo had grown bored and begun to lick herself.

"Who is that?" Kiara asked. She bit her lip thoughtfully, "Rihanna, is that you?"

It was a simple question, full of hope. Gleeful, I messed her hair again, this time with both hands.  Her acknowledgement of me seemed to give me more substance.

"Hang tight, Rihanna. I really feel that Ms. Ida, or her house, is the key. However, I think I might have to call The Mother (our pet name for our mom) and get her opinion. She may have some new agey way of reuniting yourselves." Kiara sighed. "I am so tired."

She looked tired. Her eyes were red and her shoulders slumped and I knew that I was to blame. My desire to be free from responsibility and to be able to just have a good time had become such an obsession that it consumed me.

That desire manifested itself as my dark alter ego. Somehow, my dark alter ego grew strong enough to evict my good parts. If we didn't figure something out soon, I didn't know if my good side would be capable of reuniting with my dark side. If I am not able to pull myself together, I will be forced to lead this split existence until the day I die. And then what will happen?

The Dark Side, It Is

I looked over at Rihanna as she finished singing that stupid "little girl with a curl" song. She had a strange expression on her face. The way her head was tilted, the lamp over the chair threw a shadow over half of it. Maybe it was just the way the shadow fell on her face, but somehow her eyes had gotten a mean glint to them.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I became aware of a buzzing noise right above me. I waved my hand, thinking it was a fly, but it wouldn't stop. I looked up quickly to see what it could be, but there was nothing flying around my head.

Rihanna laughed softly, like someone might laugh that knew a secret that could hurt you. I looked back at her, still trying to figure out where the buzzing noise was coming from.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked.

Rihanna leaned back, stretching her back over the chair. "Nothing, why?" Her back was lightly arched, almost a pose. It was a seductive move, as if she was hinting at further things to come.

She took a deep breath and sank down into the chair, looking at me with slightly closed eyes. They seemed darker, not as green as usual.

Adrenalin forced its way through my body. I could feel my eyes dilate, as they focused instictively on a perceived danger. I tried to act normal. I got up and shimmied past her to the kitchen, hoping she wouldn't reach out and touch me.

Rihanna dropped her head against the chair's arm and followed me with her eyes. "What's wrong, sissy? Scared of something?"

I put my plate down. The buzzing sound had become fainter, but it was still there, gnawing at my consciousness. My initial fear had subsided once I moved into the kitchen. I could still see her, looking at me with a smirk on her face.

The fear, I realized, was being replaced by annoyance. I busied myself with cleaning the kitchen. I needed some time to think.

The last thing we had talked about was devil possession and conjuring something from our darker sides. I had never seen someone possessed by the devil, but I somehow knew that what had just happened wasn't it. So, it must have something to do with us, and our dark sides.

"Whatcha thinkin' bout, sissy?" Rihanna said, a teasing note to her voice. The kind of teasing note that often precedes violence.

She got up and walked to the bar, which was built in front of the kitchen sink. She leaned on it and gave me a grin.

"The 'sissy' thing has to stop now." I said, meeting her eyes and holding them, "and what I'm thinking about is whether or not you are possessed by the devil, or you have gone over to the dark side."

Rihanna's grin dropped and she backed off from the bar.

"So, tell me how this is supposed to play out, sissy. Is it The Exorcist, or Star Wars?"

I wrang out the dish rag, turned off the water, and crossed my arms. My hands were still wet, but I didn't care.

The buzzing was back and much louder. Rihanna seemed to notice it. She looked up and smiled.

"What is it?" I asked, "What's that noise?"

Rihanna looked back at me and shrugged. "I guess you could call it my weakness."

"Your weakness?" A jolt of clarity hit me. I looked up, hoping to see some sign of what Rihanna could see, but it was useless.

"Say hello to the new me, Kiara!" Rihanna threw her arms wide and turned in a circle, laughing. She stopped and gazed at me, head cocked to the side, that same smile on her lips.

"I believe we have an appointment with your Ms. Ida tomorrow, do we not?" She came back to the bar, and leaned on it. In a whisper, she said, "Get some sleep, sissy, we have a date with destiny tomorrow."

She pushed away from the bar and skipped to the guest room. "Ta ta for now, sissy! Sleep tight!"

The door slammed shut behind her. "Stop calling me "sissy"!" I yelled.

I stood there in the kitchen, breathing heavily, not knowing what to do.

The idea of sleeping in the same house with the "new Rihanna", and a ghostly spector did not appeal to me.

Cleo materialized at my feet, meowing and rubbing herself on my legs. I heard Hank scratching at the door. "Puss, you and Hank are keeping me company tonight."

I picked Cleo up. She conformed herself to my arm and let me carry her to the door. I let Hank in, and all three of us went to my room. The buzzing was back, louder than it had been. It was comforting, and I felt as long as that sound continued, I had hope things would be ok.

I also figured that as long as the animals acted normal, all was good. However, I laid on my bed fully clothed, with the light on.

As if on cue, the storm broke. A peal of thunder shook the house, followed quickly by lightening. I heard Rihanna laughing and yell, "Woo hoo! Bring it on!"

"Dear Jesus, please protect this house, and please help my sister." I prayed and tried to imagine myself clothed in God's armor.

Dozing Out of Body

I had to suppress a giggle when Cleo slipped off the couch and landed on her side. You can always tell by the look on their faces that cats are humiliated when they fall because kitties always land on their feet and never slip by accident. In what seemed like a very human way of regaining her dignity, she quickly righted herself and trotted off into the kitchen to eat.

As I watched her, the giggle threatened to turn into hysterical laughter, so I took a deep breath, held it a moment, exhaled, then chugged my second beer. The rush came quickly and the hysterics subsided. I stood up, walked to the cooler and grabbed another beer. The lime was gone, so I grabbed one out of the fruit bowl Kiara keeps on the counter and sliced it into four pieces. As I was squeezing the lime through the mouth of the bottle, I paced behind the couch where Kiara sat flipping through channels.

By now, I had a pretty good buzz going. I wasn't thinking any important thoughts and the tension was beginning to subside, just a little. I sat down in the comfy pillow encased chair adjacent to the couch and closed my eyes. I felt safe for the moment so I allowed myself to drift off. I was so tired. I hadn't slept well in two days and the fatigue had finally caught up with me. It was a wonder I was thinking straight at all.

"An extension of our darker sides," is what I had said. What if? Everyone has a darker side to their personality. We are taught from childhood to suppress those darker less civilized urges and instead focus on goodness, kindness and love. Most of us learn early the difference between right and wrong. As Christians, we're taught Jesus is the way, the truth, the light.

Satan, though, is always prowling around the edge of our consciousness. And he's tricky. Constantly tempting. He knows how easily we can be lead away from the light. The question is, are Kiara and I being lead by the devil, or are we giving into our own subconscious urges to do something....bad?

I had become so relaxed. I felt like I was floating, no longer tethered to my body, free from any earthly restraints. How easy would it be to just let go? Leave my ordinary life behind and become someone new and different. I felt a tug. I resisted it, enjoying the sensation of weightlessness. I felt another tug, harder this time. I opened my eyes. I panicked.  I was looking down at myself lying supine in the comfy chair. My spirit was separated from my body.

Worse yet, a dark mass was hovering over my body, pulsating, like it was keeping time with my heart beat. I had to get back inside. I yelled for Kiara, but got no response. She couldn't hear me. As my panic grew, my heart beat faster. The mass, keeping time with my heartbeat, undulated and seemed to grow darker. I had to calm down. I glanced at Kiara. What would happen to her if I was unable to reconnect myself?

Suddenly, I looked up.

I had absorbed the darkness. As my spirit weakened, my mind reached out to me, looking at me through my hazel eyes that now gleamed mischievously. I smiled and saluted myself. As my spirit began to fade, I heard myself whisper, "Say hello to the new you, Rihanna."

Helplessly, I watched as my head turned away from me and looked at Kiara. Rihanna began to sing, "There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good she was very, very good, but when she was bad she was horrrriiiid."

Kitties Don't Always Land on Their Feet

Sitting there on the couch next to Rihanna, I couldn't help but feel a little weirded out by the whole evening. Here I was calmly eating fried chicken strips when just ten minutes ago my sister and I had banished, I guess that would be the appropriate word, some dark spirit.

I assumed it was a spirit. I couldn't be sure. The "d" word kept popping into my brain, but I refused to utter "demon" aloud. To me, that was just asking for trouble.

My back ached, and I had a deep scratch on the inside of my right thigh where the barbed wire had torn into my skin. The hog chase alone was enough to give anyone the willies.

The guy from Ghost Hunters was yelling, daring the "evil ghost" to come out and slap him or something. It was just silly. I had the real thing hanging around my upstairs banister.

Rihanna drained the last of her beer. She let out a fat man-sized burp and looked at me. The shadows under her eyes were still worthy of an Oscar, but she had a gleam in her eye. I had seen that gleam before, and got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked. I reached over to get my beer and took a swig. The yeasty taste was delicious, and the bubbles made my eyes water.

"Something is stalking me at my house. It calls my name, and sometimes I see it out of the corner of my eye, or fleetingly in the mirror. It's dark and it seems mean. But," Rihanna looked away, staring at something I couldn't see, "it's exciting. I don't know how to describe it. A part of me is thrilled by the idea that something unknown, whether it be evil or not, is attempting contact. Sometimes I get so bored that any distraction would suffice. I know it's bad for me to think that, but I do."

She looked back at me, then stood up, taking her plate to the kitchen. I saw her glance up the stairs.

"How do you mean, excited?" I asked. "Excited as in, let's do that again, or excited, as in, I really need to do something about this before it gets me?"

Rihanna put her plate in the sink and rinsed it off. She wouldn't look at me.

"I don't know. When I'm at home by myself, I think I'm going nuts. Then, I come here, and we actually see something that seems like it wants to communicate and I think maybe we should try to talk to it."

She turned off the water, moving the handle around until the faucet stopped dripping. I'd been meaning to fix the leak for about a year, and just hadn't gotten around to it.

"Whatever this is, it wants me. And, dammit, sometimes I think it might be kind of fun to see just what would happen if I let it have me. The freedom of not caring or worrying about anything or anyone is enticing and that part of me that just wants to let go and do what's fun and possibly dangerous just for the excitement is growing....stronger" She did look frightened then. Maybe it was openly acknowledging her thoughts.

"I admit that all this seems like an adventure you read about in books, but at the same time, Rihanna, giving in to the darkness even a little is a slippery slope." That "d" word popped into my mind again, but I was still reluctant to speak it, as my voice would give it power.

"Have you thought that this might not be spirits, but something else?" I asked. At that moment Cleopatra jumped on the couch, brushing my arm with her soft fur. I jumped, not expecting that to happen. She walked along the top of the couch, past my face, tail high in the air. I pushed her tail out of my nose.

"You mean, could it be demons?" she said, "Yes, I have."

I felt kind of stupid, knowing I acted like a coward, waiting for my sister to say that word so I wouldn't have to.

"I think you might be right," I said, "But who would have summoned it? They can't just pop into this world whenever they want, can they? Or, what if we summoned it somehow?"

I wanted to look up the stairs, but I refused. I looked down at the cat, who had plumped down beside me. She had half-open eyes, claws moving in and out as she purred.

Rihanna sat down next to the cat, another beer in her hand. She absently petted Cleo between the ear. "Well, if we summoned it, I think we have some real soul-searching to do, no pun intended. If someone else summoned it, then we have a really big problem, but one that can be solved."

"The bigger issue for me; however, is if this is something we conjured ourselves. If its an extension of our darker sides. If that's the case, then how do we stop 'ourself'?"

Ghost Hunters was over, and I picked up the remote and started surfing channels. I wasn't sure either of us was going to sleep tonight.

Cleopatra stretched, enjoying the attention, and lost her balance, rolling off the couch. She hit the floor sideways, then quickly regained her composure.

It looked like the night wasn't going well for anyone.

First Night

I turned onto the county road that leads to Kiara's driveway as Lou Gramm's "Lost in the Shadows" ended. I noticed Kiara standing in the road with a man I didn't recognize. I pulled up, parked and stomped over to her and put my hands on my hips. "What in the hell are you doing running in the dark?" I asked with just enough vehemence to cause the man standing next to her to back up a step. He actually had the nerve to snicker. I ignored him.

Kiara contritely responded that it had not been the most brilliant idea to go for a run. She also informed me that she had just been chased by a big fat hog and asked me to take her to the house for a bath. I noticed a horrible smell drifting over from the woods and figured that the hog had been laid to rest, so to speak. As Kiara moved to the car, Hank ran up all wiggles, tails and tongue aching to be petted and reassured. She, of course, let the muddy dog into the back of my car. As I started the engine, I took one last look at the man who had stood with Kiara. He looked to be just over 6 feet tall and was wearing a dingy white cowboy hat and scrumptiously tight jeans. I asked her if that was Bubba White.

"Yes'" she said. I grinned and and was told that's all the response I'd get until she was in the house and cleaned up.

I drove the short distance to her house, parked and stepped out onto the caliche driveway. We crunched our way to the porch and took the two steps leading up to her front door. It was very quiet. The humidity weighed heavy on me and the breeze was a no show.

"Why are the frogs, crickets and cicadas not performing their nightly serenade?" I thought.  I remembered the other night when I felt silence surround me as I gazed at the sky, but at least the insects were making their usual noise. Tonight was different.

I noticed Kiara's hands were shaking as she opened the door and first let in Hank before we followed. She closed the door and gingerly walked to her room and shut that door too. Hank looked up at me and I patted him on the head. "Everything will be fine," I told him. Cleopatra, the old calico, rammed her head against my calf demanding to be noticed. "I guess you don't need to be told all will be fine. You know it, don't you?" She looked at me with her green eyes, her pupils partially dilated, and said nothing. Of course, she's a cat.

The smell from the kitchen let me know Kiara had baked chicken strips. They wouldn't be the same as a juicy chicken leg, but the mac and cheese and fried okra I saw laid out next to the baking sheet appeased my irritation and my stomach started to rumble. I grabbed a plate and loaded up with artery clogging deliciousness.

"Where's the beer!" I called.

"On ice in the blue cooler at your feet Miss Oblivious!" Kiara snapped back.

After her bath, I knew she'd feel better so I ignored the jibe. I grabbed a Corona, a slice of lime and a leopard print koozie to keep it nice and cold and sat on the couch to wait for her. I thought about the hog. She had told me that the hogs were breeding like nuts and overtaking the area. I supposed Bubba and his hunting party must have been out culling the herd when they came upon Kiara. Chased by a hog. If it would have got her down...I didn't even want to think that thought.

I turned on the television and began flipping through the channels. I didn't really want to watch anything, but neither did I want to be alone with my thoughts. I landed on "Ghost Hunters" and decided to watch. I thought it was ironic.

The air conditioner must have kicked on at just about that time. I felt a chill along the back of my neck and my hair blew softly against my face. Cleopatra had jumped up on the couch to join me. As I was stroking her under the chin, her neck stretched so I wouldn't miss any part of her head; I felt her rumbling purr cease.

I looked down at her and almost asked her what was up when she crouched and leapt to the back of the couch. Her tail was swishing slowly back and forth as she quietly growled, intently staring in the direction of the stairs to the second floor. My heart hammered against my chest. I did not want to look at the stairs. If I didn't see anything, then it really wouldn't exist. That theory worked for me as a child, I figured it might for me now as well.

Of course I knew better. I slowly turned to look and gasped at what I saw. A large amorphous shape floated inches above the stairs. Blackness and emptiness, that's what registered in my mind as I stared.

"What are you, who are you?" I whispered.

"What do you want!" I said louder.

"Kiara!" I yelled. The shape moved almost imperceptibly changing into the likeness of a human figure. Kiara ran out of her room, hair damp from the bath, but fully clothed and carrying her Bible with the gilded page edges.

Kiara intoned in an authoritative voice, "By the power God and in the name of Jesus Christ, I demand you leave this house immediately!" I stood and went to her to add my strength.

The shape flickered. Together, we spoke, "In the name of the Lord our God, we demand you LEAVE!" And it did. My mouth agape, I gazed at her and asked timidly, "How did you know to do that?"

"Faith, Rihanna." Then she calmly walked into the kitchen and grabbed herself a plate of chicken strips, mac & cheese and okra, reached into the cooler for a beer, walked over to the couch and sat down.

She patted the couch. "Come sit next to me. I've seen this episode of "Ghost Hunters" and its pretty good." I did as I was told.

.

Hog Bait

The oven beeped, and I pulled out the HEB fried chicken strips. I loved those things. They were relatively cheap, and actually pretty good. The mac and cheese and fried okra were keeping warm. Rihanna would be pulling up in a little less than an hour.

I looked out the window. Shade was creeping into the backyard, and I could hear the frogs starting their nightly calls. Hank stared at me through the window. He wanted to do something. I figured I might as well take him for a run before my sister got here. I needed to get outside for awhile, burn some of the dark thoughts from my brain.

I changed, got my headphones and cell and walked outside. The air smelled like rain. It was heavy, muggy. I could already feel myself starting to sweat. Hank ran up to me and licked my hand. He wagged his tail and trotted ahead, expecting me to follow.

The caliche driveway was dusty. Hank kicked up puffs of white powder with his back legs. I stretched a little as a I walked behind him, then put on my headphones and turned up the music. The first song was "Lonely Boy" by the Black Keys.

We turned onto the dirt road and I started to jog. The air was thick with heat and water. Pretty soon I was huffing and puffing. I'm not a great runner. I mostly jog, then walk, but I still enjoy getting out and feeling the air, when it was hot and when it was cold. It made me feel alive.

Hank had gone on ahead, as usual. I got into the rhythym and was soon daydreaming my way down the road. We turned at the highway, which was about a mile and a half from my drive. The sun was starting to fade, faster than normal because of the clouds.

Lady Gaga started singing "Bad Romance". I switched songs, preferring something more rock. Tom Petty came on with "Saving Grace".

The air had turned that bluish grey that happens as the sun hits the horizon. I could see Hank up ahead. He had stopped and seemed to be staring at something in front of him. He was hunched down in that predator pose - as if he was ready to pounce.

I slowed to a walk and turned off the music. I could just see a dark form in front of Hank. Then, I heard Hank growl. The form turned and looked at  him. I realized it was a hog. A big hog.

Hank started barking. I assumed that the hog would turn and run once the dog started to bark, and it saw me. Instead, it began coming towards us. I had stopped about twenty feet from Hank. A thrill of fear ran through me. I realized I was going to have to do something.

The hog let out a yowl. It was big and hairy. Light reflected off his eyes, making them appear red. Hank had sunk low to the ground, growling. Then, he charged the hog.

"Hank!" I yelled. The two hit. The hog got Hank right under the chin and flipped him. Hank landed with a thud and lay still. He couldn't be dead. Maybe just knocked out.

I realized there was now nothing between me and the hog. It looked at me, and I thought I heard it growl. I don't really know if hogs growl, but this one sure sounded like it did.

My mind went blank. I didn't know if I should stand still or run. However, when the hog made its move, I moved. I ran to the left, into the woods along my property fence. I clambered over the barbed wire in a panic, feeling it rip my shorts and poke into my skin.

It felt like the hog was just behind me. I screamed. My headphones caught on a tree limb and ripped off my head. I managed to keep the phone in my hand. I fell onto the ground, grazing my left hip against a rock. In the back of my head I kept telling myself to watch the poison ivy. Back in the world, I was scrambling up and running.

The hog crashed through the fence. I could smell him, rank and unwashed. I made it to a beat up old shed that had been on the property since before we bought it. I figured the rotted wood walls might not keep him out forever, but it sure could slow him down.

I tripped over the broken flooring and my foot sunk down into a hole. The thought of snakes freaked me out, and I screamed again. I sounded like a lunatic. I could hear the hog ripping through the shed. Then, I heard a gunshot. The hog squealed, then silence.

I heard someone running, footsteps crunching on dried leaves. Dogs barked.

"Kiara? Kiara, is that you in there?"

Relief flooded me. It was Bubba White.

"Bubba, it's me! I'm stuck!"

I could hear them coming up to the shed.

"Holy shit, look at the size of that thing!" I heard someone say.

"Git back, Buster!" Another said to a dog. They were whining and barking.

A light flickered in the darkness, and then Bubba White walked in. "What in the world are you doing out here?"

I felt stupid. "Well, I went for a run. I didn't even think about ya'll hog hunting, or hogs in general." I remembered Hank, "Did you see Hank? Is he ok?"

Bubba White looked back and spoke to one of the men. "Did ya'll see a dog out there? Where would he be, miss?" That to me.

"Out on the road." I said. I reached up and grabbed Bubba White's outstretched hand, gritting my teeth against the cuts, bruises, and other hurts. "That stupid hog was in the middle of the road! What was it doing in the middle of the road?"

I heard Bubba White take a breathe, then let it out. "I don't know, ma'am. You can't always tell what a hog is going to do."

"We found him!" I heard someone yell. "He's ok!"

I thanked God for small miracles.

"Can we take you back to your house?" Bubba White asked.

"That would be wonderful. Thank you." I said. I grabbed hold of Bubba White's hand and picked my way through the rotted flooring. I could smell the hog before I came up to it. I could see it's huge bulk laying on the ground. Light from someone's flashlight played across its thick, stiff hair.

I stepped well away from it, subconsciously thinking it might spring back to life.

I waved at the two men standing on the other side of the dead animal. They held the collars of their hog dogs, who were trying to get to the hog. I didn't know them.

"Ma'am." One of them said. The other nodded politely. I waved feebly at them, embarrassed.

Bubba White helped me through the fence and back onto the road. Hank was up and he met me, sniffing, licking, and wagging his tail in a fury.

I bent down and hugged him, enjoying the feel of his fur, even if it was full of sand. "He seems to be none the worse for wear," I said.

A car drove towards us and stopped. It was Rihanna. She parked and got out. "What happened here? And what in the hell are you doing running in the dark anyways?"

"I know! It was stupid," I said, "and to top it off, I got chased by a big, fat hog."

I limped over to the car. "Get me to the house so I can take a nice, hot bath, please."

I waved back at Bubba White. He stood there waiting for me to get into the car. Once I was in, I waved. He shook his head at me, turned, and headed back to the dead hog.

"Is that that Bubba White guy you told me about?"

"Yes." He just saved my life.

I let Hank into the backseat then climbed into the car. "I'll tell you about it back at the house."

Driving Towards....What?

I know I was a little terse with Kiara when we spoke. Even though I might have been lost without her strength, she is my sister after all and, well, sometimes I get snippy with her. Plus, I tend to get sarcastic and treat with complete insouciance any experience that unsettles me. I'll have to apologize when I see her.

Traffic was light on 290E, so I was making good time. I took advantage of the cool evening and drove with my windows down. In a few weeks, the Texas heat will kick in and only those who enjoy baking like Easter hams will drive with their windows down. As I drove, the setting sun colored the sky with brilliant pinks, oranges and reds. The clouds were outlined in purple and hinted at rain. I didn't  remember hearing rain in the forecast, but again, Texas weather is unpredictable. Except during the summer when all the weatherman says is, "100 degrees today, 105 degrees tomorrow, 102 degrees the day after......"

I hit Austin within 45 minutes and called Kiara to let her know I'd be on her doorstep in about an hour. If I took the 130 tollway to Hutto and then turned onto 79, I'd miss all that traffic on I-35. I told her to have food and beer waiting. Preferably Corona in an icy cold mug and some fried chicken and okra, but anything would do. I'd left a Stouffer's lasagna, spaghetti and a meatloaf for my mom to feed to the kids. Dean won't eat the meatloaf, but I know my mother, and she will make him something "special". She spoils him and I am so thankful for that! I also left some cash so they could go to the local Mexican food restaurant.

Slowly, my thoughts began to turn back to the issue between Kiara and I. I felt that if I drove fast enough, I could leave the shadows and all they represent behind and when I landed at Kiara's, we could just laugh about what had occurred, get a little drunk and watch scary movies til morning. Unfortunately, I knew that wasn't going to happen.

We are going to have to think about our situation, consider the possibilities and maybe even consult someone. I don't know. I feel clueless.  Too many ideas at once all jumbled together, helter skelter, refusing to land in any order I can recognize as a coherent thought. I suddenly got a headache.

"Please, God, help us through this. Holy spirit, ignite us from within and burn away all the darkness. Lead us down the path you want us to travel together and help us to make it there safely." I took a deep breathe and resigned myself that hard work, and possibly a fight, was ahead.

A verse from Hebrews came to me, "But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved." Kiara and I must persevere in our faith if we are to overcome this dark burden that has descended upon us.

As I drove up the flyover onto the tollway, I saw a falling star streak across the sky. I made a wish, turned up the radio and set my cruise to 85. I cruised along the tollway and made the turn onto Highway 79, left leg curled under my right as my right foot rested next to the pedals. I could feel the bass from my radio pounding through the side of my thigh touching the car door speaker. Something primal about the beat of the bass. I could feel it reverberate from the toes of my feet up through the pit of my stomach, finally coming to rest in my chest. Wildness, freedom from everyday constraints, lingered below the surface, teasing and enticing me to let go as the pounding beat thumped through my body. I could almost forget the worries leading me to my sister.

Coming Together

"Rihanna", the voice whispered. I froze. Really? Did I just hear my name called? I'm standing in the sunlight-in the middle of a warm and cheery kitchen. My mind must be playing tricks on me. "Crazy Train" started blaring from pocket; indicating that Kiara was finally calling back.

"Its about time you called back. I think I'm hallucinating now." I snipped at her. "Dark shadows attacked me and I think the wind just whispered my name!"

Kiara tersely replied, "I know! I got rid of them as fast as I could."

I guessed she figured that, as in the past, I couldn't take care of the big things by myself, so she had to come to the rescue.

"And I want you to come out to my place. You shouldn't be alone, I don't want to be alone and I want you to accompany me to Mrs. Ida's house tomorrow."

"What do you want me to do with the kids, boss?" I replied demurely.

"Leave them with mother. She can deal with three teens for a few days. Dean can drive and the girls can cook, so they won't be stranded and starving." Kiara said. I guess she had already put some thought into this.

"OK. I'll head out after they get home from school and I get them settled. I'll call mother and let her know I'm going to hang out with you for a few days."

After we hung up, I started reliving the events of the past few days. Seen in the light of day, I began to question whether or not the "shadows" were real.After the incident in the bedroom, I was so shaken that I would have believed the devil himself had set his minions on me. Now....I don't know. Are we overreacting? I find it difficult to believe anything supernatural could actually happen to me. That stuff is only for books and movies.

I called mother, told her I was going to Kiara's for a few days ans asked if she would stay with the kids.

"Mother, I want you to understand that it is very important you stay in my house with the kids over night. I don't want them to be alone. Rico is gone for two weeks and some weird shit has been happening." I stressed.

"Also, don't sleep in my room. Kick one of the girls or Dean out of their beds. After Kiara and I talk, I'll explain what's going on."

My mother, the ex-hippie chick who still dabbles in astrology coolly replied, "I know very well that something dark is following both of you. I've been keeping tabs on y'all." Sometimes she can be just a little creepy.

"Of course I will watch over the cherubs. They will be perfectly safe in my care. I'll be there by 5:00 this evening. " She hung up, sounding a little smug, but I was relieved that I didn't have to relate to her my crazy ideas at the moment. I felt if I voiced them aloud,  men in white coats would storm into my house, wrap me in a backwards tunic and cart me off to the loony bin.

I figured that I needed to pack a few things, but was leery about going into my room. I turned on all the lights, even though every window in the house was open and sunlight was streaming in, and slowly crept down the hall. I reached my room and flicked on the light. Nothing. No sensation of being watched. No lurking shadows.

I walked in, back straight and head up daring any itinerant shadow to come at me and began packing three days worth of clothing. I threw in a few extra pairs of panties just because you never know how many pairs you might need. I also packed my facial creams. Even though we may be beset by evil, or even worse, our own dwindling sanity, I still had to protect my face against wrinkles...time doesn't stop for spookiness.

4:00 pm came, the kids stomped in as only teens can do. Yelling, laughing and gossiping about the day. I told them I was visiting their Aunt Kiara for a few days and that NeeNee would be staying with them.

"Also," I said sternly, "keep the nightlights on at night and do not go into my bedroom for any reason. Do you understand?"

"No," Carmen said, "but whatever, mother."

I kissed them goodbye, told them NeeNee would be there by 5:00 and left. As I got into my car, I looked at the house and it seemed lighter. Maybe without me inside, the darkness would stay away. I jammed the key into the ignition, started the car and drove off toward who knew what?

"Please, God, help us to work this out," I prayed as I turned onto the highway and headed east toward Kiara.

Bubba White

Frustrated at the interruption, I opened the door a little too quickly. Surprise met me in the weathered face of Bubba White. He looked a little sheepish, probably guessing correctly that I wasn't thrilled at his visit.

Bubba White made his living trapping and selling wild hogs. Two months ago he had started trapping on my place, which has apparently been a gold mine of large hogs.

He was tall, his body toned by years of labor outdoors. He was at the age where we all start to look the same age. He could have been 40, and he could have been 50. I wasn't sure.


Everyone called him Bubba White. Not Bubba, not Mr. White, but put together, Bubba White.

Bubba White's real first name is "Bob." My neighbor told me that when Bubba White was a kid, he was teased at school. The boys would go around calling, "Bob white! Bob white!" in the same shrill way a Bobwhite Quail would call.

One day Bubba White came home and told his parents to start calling him "Bubba," and from that day on, he became known as Bubba White.

Bubba White never married, but I had a feeling it was purely by choice. Bubba White had manners. He would take his battered cap off when talking to me, and was always very polite.

"I am sorry for intruding on you like this, Mrs. Thompson, but I wanted to let you know that me and a coupla others plan on going hog hunting tonight. We're taking dogs with us, so you might want to keep Hank inside."

I wasn't a fan of using dogs for hog hunting, mainly because pit bulls were becoming the dog of choice. "Just how close do ya'll plan on coming to my house?"

"Not too close, but I figured since I've had such luck with trapping them bigs ones on your land, that we would try tonight with the dogs and see what we can rustle up."

"Can you text me when ya'll get to my property, just so I'm aware?"

"Yes, ma'am, I can do that. You have a good day, and thank you." Bubba White smiled and put his cap back on as he turned and walked back to his truck - a brand new, black Dodge Ram diesel. Bubba White did pretty well for himself.

I shut the door. I heard Bubba White start up the truck, the distinctive rumbling sound of the diesel engine fading as he drove away.

I called Rihanna back. I felt for sure that I wanted to take her with me to Ms. Ida's tomorrow, and then talk more about what was happening.

Her line started to ring. Standing there in the hallway, I noticed the livingroom grow darker, as if clouds were passing in front of the sun.

My oldest cat, Cleopatra, a gray calico, rubbed up against my legs. She meowed up at me, then sat down at my feet and stared at the livingroom.

"You feel it, too, don't you?" I asked her.

She looked up at me with her gold eyes, "Meow."

"Hi, Kiara." Rihanna said. "It's about time you called back! I was only attacked by dark shadows is all!"

"I know! I'm sorry, I got rid of him as fast as I could. Look, can you come out here tonight? I want you to go with me to Ms. Ida's tomorrow. Also, I'm not so sure you should be there by yourself. I don't really want to be alone, either, to tell you the truth."

Wonderful, beautiful sunlight

The shadows seeped in from under the door; they dripped from the ceilings and they poured out from under my bed. They circled me. Over and over...never stopping, always whispering "Rihanna, we see you!"

I was going to lose my mind! I sat hunched on my feet, my arms protecting my head and recited the prayer louder and louder using the sheer volume of my voice to retain a hold on my sanity. I knew as long as I kept a grip on the tenuous connection between me and God, I'd be safe, but I felt my grasp slipping.

Then, the shadows dispersed quickly. Their hold on me shattered. They were just gone. Thank you, Jesus, for giving us a prayer we can remember when we're panicking! I kept my head down and covered with my arms for a moment longer. I felt drugged, like I'd taken one too many of my sedatives and couldn't shake off the lethargy. My eyes felt dry and scratchy. When I decided to look up, I gazed straight into the eyes of Kiara.

Then she was gone and I was alone in my bedroom. My creepy, dark never going to sleep in it again bedroom. How am I going to explain my fear to Rico? I have two weeks to ponder that discussion. I decided the best place to be was outside in the sunlight.

I groaned as I raised up. My legs and feet were cramped from squatting for so long. My throat hurt from screaming the prayer and my head pounded. I walked out of my room down the hallway using the walls to brace myself. I did not want to end up on the floor, prostrate, when the kids came home from school.

The glare from the sunlight forced my eyes shut when I stepped out onto the porch. The warmth from the sun, though, enveloped my body easing all my tension and aches. I slowly opened my eyes, stepped down the porch steps and onto the yard. Brilliant sunlight filtered through the oak trees' limbs. The wind blew a calming breeze across my arms blowing away any residual fear remaining in my mind and body. Thank you Lord!

I pulled my cell out of my pocket, and dialed Kiara. When she answered, she sounded harried and told me to get outside. Someone was at her door and she'd call me back. I told her I was already outside, then ended the call.

I sat down in the yard, careful of the stickers which grew not so much willy nilly in my yard, but for the sole purpose of getting stuck to shoes and clothing to be brought unknowingly into the house and deposited onto the carpet. You do not go barefoot in my house lest you end up picking stickers off the soles of your feet. I bowed my head and prayed, "Thank you Lord for delivering me from evil. Thank you for bringing my sister to me just as I was about to lose control. Without you, I'd slip away."

I stood and began walking around the yard. We had an acre covered in oaks and various other plantings that I had put in over the 11 years we'd been here. Scattered artfully around the plantings and trees were statues, knick knacks, broken pottery, bird baths and any other object I thought might add interest to our place. I liked the effect. I could walk down one side of the yard and see four painted mushrooms guarded by gnomes. On the other side owls and cherubs stood watch over our pool and backyard. Some people may think its a little too much (especially the colored lights I have wrapped around the back porch portico), but I like it.

As I strolled, I thought about the shadows and darkness and realized that Kiara and I may be dealing with something truly evil. I felt grateful for her strength. I have always had a tendency to give into temptation just for the fun of it or sometimes just to experience the risk. It thrilled me. Kiara kept me grounded. Without her, the voices just might convince me to let loose my control and join them.

I'm sure that's why God paired me with her. He knew I had a part of me that tended toward the mischievous. When we were teens, my "darker" side controlled me on the weekends leaving Kiara to look after me to make sure I got home safely, if she could find me at all.

Lately I have felt bored; ennui is settling in because I know the kids will be leaving for college soon and Rico is always gone on business. I need excitement-something different. Could I possibly be calling the darkness to me? Kiara is all alone, wondering what to do with herself. Could she be unknowingly calling for it as well?
The idea that we may be our own "dark strangers" is unsettling.

I walked back into my house deciding to throw open all the curtains and windows, including those in my bedroom, to disperse any remaining shadows. As I unlocked the latch on the kitchen window, I again heard my name whispered, "Rihanna."

Wild Hogs

I had been transferring my changes to the landscape plan to the computer. My eyes were tired and dry from moving little round circles and squares around a line-drawing of Ms. Ida's house.

The late afternoon sun was beaming through the shades, making the study warm. I rubbed my eyes and flipped my hair off my neck. Dust motes floated dreamily in the sunlit air. I leaned my head back against the chair and listened to the quiet.

I could stay like this all night and nothing would interrupt it. There would not be any kids running into the house, slamming the door. My husband would not traipse in, bringing sand in on his shoes. I could sit in this chair, and become lost in the quiet, forever frozen in time like a museum exhibit.

The warmth from the sun, the stillness, lulled my body to sleep. I felt like I was floating, and then, wham!

I was standing in a room made dark by light-blocking shades. I could sense the daylight outside, but inside I saw shadows moving in the corners. A seductive whispering emanated from them, the sound crawling up my spine and insinuating itself into my ears.

Something moved. I realized it was my sister, crouched down with her arms over her head. She was reciting the Lord's Prayer.

Holy cow, this was happening, really happening, and I was suddenly in the middle of it. I turned around and realized Rihanna was surrounded by these shadow beings. They undulated, their shadowy bodies trying to take form, then slowly falling apart again.

The blood rushed to my ears, and my heart raced. I swallowed, trying not to panic.

I remembered the Bible verse from Ephesians. I imagined myself clothed in God's armor, and I said, "By the power given to me through the blood of Christ Jesus, I command you to leave!"

No fireworks or loud explosions shook the house, but I felt them leave, scattered by my words and the protection of Jesus. The room lightened, and I sound came back.

I looked down at Rihanna. Her green eyes were wide. They looked bruised and tired. We stared at each other, not saying anything.

Bang, bang, bang! Loud knocking on my front door startled me awake. I jumped and nearly fell out of the chair.

"Mrs. Thompson! Mrs. Thompson, it's Bubba White. I need to talk to you!"

Bubba White made a living trapping the wild hogs threatening to overtake our area. He didn't come calling unless he had a very good reason.

Super Freak blared from my phone. I answered, "Rihanna, get outside and away from your room. I have someone at the front door. Let me get rid of him and I will call you right back. But, get out into the sun!"

"I'm already outside," she said. "Talk to you in a bit."

I guess my quiet had been interrupted in more than one way. Be careful what you wish for.

Crazy Train?

As I ran the vacuum over the living room rug attempting to suck up the week's accumulation of dog and cat hair, I thought about what Kiara had said about dwelling on dark and evil things. I must try not to focus too much on the dark. I could be leaving "doors" open that give a passage way for evil to come and taunt me. Or, if Kiara and I are indeed creating this shadow ourselves, give it strength by occupying all my spare thoughts to its presence.

I need to gain control over myself. Focus, again my weakness, on what is good (God), and not dwell on what is not. If I am in control of my spiritual self, the evil, or demons, might as well say it, will find it near impossible to get to me. But if they see that there are areas where I'm not in control, they could take advantage of that and worm their way in. Fear creates fear and that's what dark energy feeds upon, or so my mother says. I must always embrace God's love in order to stay strong and remain protected.

I seem to be becoming a woman obsessed. Did I actually see the shadow, or did I imagine I saw the shadow, hoping in a way that I had? Am I seeing things in reality or in my mind's eye?

Now, that's just crazy talk, Rihanna. Stop it! Don't go all "Girl, Interrupted!"

I pushed and pulled the vacuum faster as I delved further into my thoughts. Maybe my lack of sleep is causing me to perceive shadows and wailing sirens as ominous. My doctor had taken me off my Ambien because my body had become too accustomed to its effects. Ambien is a "hypnotic" drug, and can sometimes cause hallucinations and intense dreams. Yet, I never really experienced any of those symptoms while taking it. I said and did a few things I don't remember, much to the chagrin of my husband Rico! But I never hallucinated. I just never got a full, restful night's sleep. I was consistently sleep deprived.

Now I take a sedative. I have been on this medication for a week now and I have noticed an uptick in the intensity of my dreams. They are vibrant, loud, action filled and sometimes horrific. I should awake tired and listless; however, I feel more rested in the three years since I had been taking the Ambien. I'm still tired, and feel a little sleep deprived, but I'm not so tired during the day anymore.

Barely satisfied with the vacuuming job, I figured I had picked up what pet hair I could and switched of the vacuum. I unplugged the cord and rolled it up and around the vacuum until it was tight. I then pushed it to the closet at the end of the hall. As I shoved the vacuum in and closed the closet door, I heard my name "Rihanna" sighed softly against my ear. A gentle chorus of voices , but discordant in tone. The hair rose on the back of my neck and arms. 

Suddenly frightened, I panicked and ran into my bedroom, closed the door and fell on my knees and began reciting the Lord's prayer over and over. I must have repeated it ten times before my heart finally slowed. I looked up. I felt them watching me from the shadows of the corners of my bedroom. I felt them listening from the other side of the closed door. I couldn't physically see anything, but in my head, I saw shadows gathering. They were attacking my weakness; my lack of focus on what is good, and I truly began to fear. 

Am I going insane, or is this really happening? 

The Armor of God

I felt a little weirded out by Rihanna's phone call. Something strange seemed to be happening. Instictively, I felt that whatever was wrong with that one area of Mrs. Ida's yard had followed me home.

But Rihanna had heard someone talking to her. I couldn't quite wrap my head around that fact. Is this the time when all that stuff about evil and spirits, or the devil, or whatever actually turns real? Was last night real? Hard to imagine when the sun was shining.

It was one thing to think and talk about it, like how it might happen in a movie, but to actually say, out loud, that "something wicked this way comes," and it's talking to my sister? Now that was a whole nuther ballgame.

I sat down in my usual place on the front porch. The sun was just coming over the back of the house, but for a little while longer the front yard would be in shade. A breeze wafted the smell of the Mock Orange flowers across my face. The pair of Barn Swallows that nested under the rafters flew in chattering arcs across the porch, flying out over the grass, and back again, looking for a meal.

I just didn't know what to think. I was a true believer, wasn't I? At least, I told myself that everyday during my morning prayer time. As such, discussing the reality that something dark and shadowy was stalking my sister and I shouldn't have been such an odd thing.

There was a bible verse about the armor of God. I went inside for my Bible. It was somewhere in the New Testament. I looked for "armor" in the back, and found what I was looking for. It was verse out of Ephesians 6, 11-12:

¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Right there in black and white in the Bible. The rest of the verse read:

¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

OK, if I was to have faith, and be a true believer, then I would be prepared. I texted Rihanna to read verses 11-17.

Then, I prayed. I prayed for God to protect us and lead us to victory, and I really prayed for God to protect my sister's sanity.

The wind picked up and blew against the windows. Clouds had begun to roll in. I didn't remember hearing on the news about rain, but I would take it.

Mrs. Ida's landscape plan called. I needed to finish this draft. We had an appointment tomorrow morning. Maybe I could convince Rihanna to drive out with me.

Am I seeing shadows or am I just crazy?

Kiara's phone rang a few times. I knew she was holding out, listening to my theme song-"Superfreak". Not sure why she made the connection between that song and me, but I dig it.

Finally, "Hello, Rihanna, just thinking about you."

"I just wanted to check in with you. Seems we've both been having the willies lately; I think a new word would be apropos about now. Don't you? I figured we needed to speak about the out of the ordinary occurrences we've both experienced recently."

"I don't know what the deal is, really." Kiara said. "Maybe I have been alone at the house too long. Seeing things that aren't really there. I have been praying everyday, and I know when I sit outside for my "Jesus time", I always feel a lot better."

I said, "Do you remember when we were rooming with Robin and you ran up to my room one night to ask if I was ok and I told you about the shadow at the end of my bed? I think that whatever visited me that night might be back."

Kiara was silent for a moment, then she said, "Yes, I remember. It was the same presence that visited me when I lived behind the K-Mart. The one I think I saw last night."

I explained what I felt and saw the night before in my vision and then told her about my research.

"I believe we are dealing with a dark figure that may not be a stranger to us. We all have a dark side. As you slipped from my grasp, I felt, I don't know, evil or treachery. I confess that I was disturbed and frightened, but also excited that a new experience may be awaiting us."

Kiara was silent. I assumed she was listening to my amateur hypotheses.

"If we accept the theory that a shadow in dreams represents that a person is having dark thoughts and doesn't know which path to take, the good or the bad, then maybe both of us are projecting the shadow together, through our connection as twins.  This shadow may represent a negative thing in your life or in the life of me"

I continued, "You have had a tough few years since Steve's death. Now, you are alone because the kids are in college and you stand at a crossroads. Which path should you take...what paths are out there for you to take? For a moment in time, you were obsessed with what to do with yourself."

"I, on the other hand, have been very possessive of what I have since Steve's death. A husband, three teenagers; what most would consider a "whole" home. The full meal deal, so to speak. In a way, I have been obsessed with the possibility of suddenly losing what I care for just like you did."

Gamely, I soldiered on. "I think the shadow could be truly something evil and attempting to break into our world. I mean, not "our world" in the sense of the world of everyone, but our own personal, familial world. On the other hand, it may be a dark representation of our personalities, or psyches, and because of our strong bond, we are giving our inner darkness life."

I heard a voice last night. It was just a whisper, but I knew it wasn't natural. Am I going crazy? Yesterday morning, I actually felt connected to something bigger than myself, something GOOD. Now, I feel the link to that something GOOD, has weakened and something else is reaching out to me."

"Rihanna, sometimes we are the ones that pull the darkness to us, even when we aren't trying to do that. Dwelling on dark things and evil, consciously thinking about these things, opens up a door for that to actually come through."

I think about this statement as I get up from the table, phone between my ear and shoulder. I walk over to the sink. As I begin washing the leftover breakfast dishes, diligently scrubbing the encrusted peanut butter off Carmen's bowl, I realize the Kiara has a point. The more I dwell on the possibility that something may be stalking us, the more likely the possibility may turn into a reality. Our junior high coaches used to tell us to visualize ourselves serving the volleyball over the net and it will happen. What if visualizing something evil makes the evil "happen"?

The scarier thought, though, was if Kiara and I were giving life to something dark.

I wash the last dish, place it on the cup towel to dry and turn off the water. I pace into the hallway, this idea weighing heavy, and look directly into the hallway mirror.

"I saw a shadow in my hall mirror last night. Do you think that was my imagination? It occurred right before my vision of you."

I could hear Kiara moving around the house. I heard the door open, and then birds chirping. "Hey, Hank," she whispered before she answered me.

"Like I said before, dwelling on something has a tendency to give that something strength. I know we both have been thinking, and feeling, lately that something is just not right." Kiara said.

"Every morning I sit out here on the porch and pray, and thank God for what I've got. I ask for blessings and safe keeping for me and my family. Every night I pray before I go to sleep and ask for God to protect my house and my family. Every time I do that I feel safe. My house is safe."

"I like to tell myself that. Last night I was freaked out, and I'm not too sure I would know what to do if it had come at me."

She sighed before continuing, "Ever since I went to Mrs. Ida's house, I have felt as if something followed me home. That is one creepy place. There is a true darkness there, outside in the woods, that is slowly engulfing her house."

I heard an awful racket on my front porch coming from my cats. I told Kiara to wait a minute, and I went to check out the problem. Fortunately, it was just another cat. A stray, one I had never noticed before. If Willard wouldn't have been laid up with a bum leg, he would have run him off. However, there was something a little strange about the cat. He looked at me with intelligence behind his green eyes. I threw a rock at him and he ran off.

"For now, while the sun is out and the weather is cool, I'm going to busy myself with mundane activities like vacuuming and dusting. Thanks for talking this out with me and let me know if you experience anything else odd." I hit "end call" and went to grab my vacuum. What better way to clear my head of cobwebs and thoughts of shadows.

A Landscape Plan

I sat back and rubbed my eyes. It was going on noon, and I had been working on the landscape plan for a couple of hours.

This plan was for an older lady that had definite ideas about what she wanted, and that was usually something different than what I wanted. I was currently on my third revision.

I had taken the project on as a favor to a friend. "My mother could really use some help on her yard," she said, "All mother does is sit around that house and complain about how all her plants are dying."

She had neglected to mention that her mother, Mrs. Ida Pendleton, was a control freak that needed something, and someone, to complain about. She lived alone in her big, grand house, and had spent her life as the busy wife of a high-powered Houston lawyer. Getting her way was just a part of life.

Mrs. Ida lived down the end of her own private road. It was beautiful, peaceful, but dark. Tall Post Oak trees blanketed the yard with shade, and giant, overgrown shrubs encircled the house, planted as a hedge many moons ago, and left untended to now tower above the windows.

I wanted to get some light in the yard and take out the water-guzzling plants, but to Mrs. Ida, the word "native" meant "weed". I keep telling myself that I'm getting paid for it - a LOT, so chill out.

I decided that with this latest revision I would recommend mostly cleaning up and sculpting what was currently planted. Once we got the yard under control, I would start working with her on adding new things, or taking away old things. An old woman set in her ways did not want to deal with the large amount of change I was proposing, so slowing down should hopefully help.

The left side of the house, which sloped down to a dry creekbed, needed the most attention. The original plantings had been overtaken by native yaupon, beautyberry, and poison ivy. Mustang grape vines covered some of the older yaupons, which stood close to fifteen feet tall. It had been a long time since that part of the yard had felt human hands.

The place gave me the willies. Driving up on the old Victorian house that first day, my eye was immediatly drawn to that left side. It sucked the light down into it, giving the area a mysterious, elusive quality. Shadows hung there even during the sunniest part of the day. They seemed to float around the porch as if looking for an entrance into the house.

I had parked and stepped out onto the caliche drive. It was then that I saw Mrs. Ida standing on the front porch, in the midst of the shadows. She maintained the countenance of a rich, Texas wife. She held her thin frame ramrod straight, with her gray hair pulled back in a low bun. She exuded a "don't mess with me, I'm the boss" attitude from the get-go.

She walked down the steps to greet me. The shadows seemed to follow for a short time, their feathery edges finally breaking away as Mrs. Ida walked into the sun.

I had shaken her hand. It was papery thin and cold, but the grip was iron hard. Thinking back on it, I rubbed my hands together. Ever since that day, I felt as if some of those shadows had followed me home.

I got up to get a glass of tea. My cell phone started singing "Super Freak". It was my sister.

Thinking in Circles

Thinking in circles, thinking in circles....that thought went across my mind so many times it didn't even seem like a real phrase anymore. I decided to do a little research before I called Kiara. If a shadow needed light in order "to be", then why would a shadow be bad? Or creepy? A physical shadow, one that we see on the sidewalk walking behind us in the afternoon, would of course need light to exist. But as I thought about our vision, I decided that we are not dealing with the physical aspect of shadow. Our encounters were more ethereal.

The first reference I found to spooky shadow encounters referred to Shadow People. Apparently, this is the kind of "haunting" caused by the spirit of a dead person whose spirit is trapped here on earth and not able to move on. Usually, the person died a fast and violent death and may not be aware that they are indeed dead. Often seen from the corner of your eye or pacing maniacally from one point to another, they move quickly and are difficult to pin down. I don't think that's what Kiara and I had experienced.

Next, I read about the shadow archetype used in literature to portray a character's loss of his or her identity and inhibitions. These characters are the exemplification of the primitive brutality or dark side of nature. The "dark side" of nature. That sounded more plausible. However, the shadow man, for lack of a better term, seemed to have an identity, although he did not seem to be in much control of his inhibitions.

Then, there is the Jungian perspective of the shadow. I read through Wikipedia's explanation of Jung's view of the "shadow", an instinctual and irrational part of the unconscious mind. He postulated that "in spite of its function as a reservoir for human darkness—or perhaps because of this—the shadow is the seat of creativity...it may be the dark side of his being, representing the true spirit of life," the primitive as opposed to a purely rational way of thinking and living.

I don't believe that the shadow we had witnessed had anything to do with creativity. The "dark or negative side" of a personality, I could believe. We all have a dark side and last night, as Kiara slipped from my grasp, I felt his darkness emanating through our connection into my psyche. It disturbed me, frightened me, but also excited me a little because to give in would be forbidden, and the forbidden can be fun.

A shadow in dreams may represent that you are having dark thoughts and don't know which path to take, the good or the bad. Or, the shadow may represent a negative thing in your life or in the life of another person close to you. The obsessive or possessive nature of yourself or the other person. Most explanations concerning shadows in dreams say that the shadow depicts a figure of the same sex as yourself or is a symbol of someone who represents your opposite, but who is the same sex as yourself. Strange, the shadow from my vision in which Kiara was threatened seemed so male.

I began to think that Light indeed may be needed to disperse this Shadow.

Figuring further research would drive me mad, I picked up my cell and speed dialed Kiara.

Sunshine and wind chimes

It is 6:15 am and the sun was not even up yet, so why was I? I brushed my teeth and put my red curly hair up into a ponytail and walked into the kitchen. The kids would be up soon, Rico would be leaving for a two week job in Portland and I would then be alone with the day stretching before me. Oh, the possibilities!

Carmen stumbled out of bed first, grabbed the Reese's Puffs and poured it into a bowl with her obligatory spoonful of peanut butter mashed onto the side (a trick learned from their dad). Sylvia soon followed, asking if I could make her a lunch. Dean grumbled his way down the hall to the bathroom eventually emerging as a somewhat coherent teenage boy. Kissed four times on the cheek; my brood was gone.

The sun was now fully up. I opened my kitchen windows fully to let in the cool clean air. My chimes were twinkling in the the breeze. I have a penchant for collecting them and at least 10 hang on trees and eaves around my yard. Taking a deep breath, I sat down at my laptop, flipped the lid and prepared to read my emails. Perhaps, just for fun, I would Google psychic twin connections. I also thought about making an appointment with my doctor for an MRI. I had pushed the voice and its message to the back of my thoughts, not wanting to deal with the implications just yet.

As my computer booted up, a text from my sister came through. She told me she had a dream last night. One she had experienced many times as a child. Although I would need more detail regarding the dream to verify the similarity to the vision I had, at this point, a psychic twin connection seemed plausible. Cool. Strange that we "reconnected" at this time. I wonder if the shadow is forcing us to open up, or maybe God, or our angels, are forcing us to connect in order to protect each other? Interesting question.

Again, as the night before, a memory stirred. Kiara and I were living in a three bedroom two bath two story condo with Robin, a high school friend of ours. Back in the 80's, this little condo cost us $570 a month, unbelievable. I roomed upstairs while Kiara took the master bedroom downstairs.

We had all retired for the night and sleep was about to take me when I noticed a black form standing at the foot of my bed. I froze; my heart slowed and I couldn't think. I felt like a child when nightmares would awaken me and I was so frightened I couldn't call out for my mom. Suddenly, I heard Kiara's footsteps taking the stairs two at a time as she hurried to my room.

"What's the matter? Are you alright?" she asked.

"I don't know. I thought I saw a human shaped shadow at the foot of my bed. It's gone now. How did you know?" I wondered.

Standing in my doorway, back lit by the hall light, I saw her shrug. "Don't know. Just sensed something might be wrong." She then turned and trudged back down to her room.

A cloud just passed across the sun, dimming the kitchen momentarily. I got up and walked outside onto the lawn. Under the oak trees, I sat and thought about the shadows. I put my hands on the ground and asked God if we were seeing things. I felt a pulse under my palms. Curious, I looked down to see if I had placed my hands on a bug, but no, just weeds and clover disguising themselves as grass.

I shut my eyes, focused my thoughts, opened my eyes and began to pray. A verse from Psalm 23 came to mind..."He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul." I felt the pulse again and realized I had just made some kind of connection. With what, I'm not sure. I am part of God's creation so maybe He was attempting to contact me, restore my spirit, through His creation.

Observe, Rihanna. Remember the epiphany you had the other night about observing the world around you. Shadows could be overcome by light, but without the light, there would be no shadows. Now I was thinking in circles. I stood up to call Kiara.

A Shadow Comes Calling

I woke up with an aching head, stinging neck, and stiff back and legs. I had to push Hank off me to get up.

The early morning sun sneaked around the blinds, too bright and cheery.

I rolled out of bed and started my morning routine. A nice latte would do me just fine. My kids had given me an extra expensive cappaccino machine for my birthday. It made great lattes.

I walked into the living room, looking up reflexively. Nothing up there but air. I picked up my phone from the counter and texted my sister.

"I dreamed that devil man dream again last night. Remember the one I had way back when I woke up and thought I saw a ghost? Gave me the willies. How did your night go?" I pressed "send".

I fixed myself a latte and walked out front to enjoy the morning. I had a busy morning ahead of me if I wanted to finish my latest landscape plan.

I started my own landscape business three years ago, about a year after Steve died. He was killed by a drunk driver while he was on his way home from work. It happened so quickly. One minute I was thinking about what to cook for supper, and if I needed Steve to pick up anything from the store, and the next minute, I'm not too sure. It will remain a blur by choice. All I know is that I was alone, for the first time in my life.

Losing someone in that fashion, it is so quick. Death comes up and smacks you in the face and you realize how little time you have to enjoy and experience life. So, I figured why not start a business? The kids were set for college, and the house was paid off. What did I have to lose, money?

I asked God to take care of it, and he did. I am still here, not quite the successful landscaper, but able to keep myself busy. I thank God everyday for giving me something creative to do.

If you were to drive up to my house, you would be hard-pressed to tell a landscaper lives here. We're kind of like mechanics - fix everyone else's yard first, then maybe get around to fixing ours someday. I like to tell myself I went to all native, "water-wise" plantings. That's just my way of saying weeds are good. I hung up a few windchimes, and their tinkling lends an ethereal quality to the yard.

The Black-Eyed Susans, Bluebonnets, and other wildflowers were blooming. Yellows, blues, reds, and oranges splashed across the yard. Just way too pretty to mow.

I was standing there on the porch waxing poetic about the beauty of God's creation when a movement on my right caught my eye. I looked that way, through the small stand of Yaupon, but didn't see anything unusual. The birds stopped chirping, and even the wind stilled. Something was there, watching me.

Hank was over by the wellhouse. He looked that way. His hair stood on end, and he growled at whatever it was behind the trees. I felt rooted to where I stood, almost held forcibly in place. I squinted through the gnarled branches, but couldn't see anything.

Hank finally huffed, shook his head, and trotted over to investigate. The noise came back, and the wind picked up. I headed inside suddenly needing a fresh cup of coffee.